Beasts, Mythical and Edible

Not a mythical beast, but Mr. Chippy checking out the pig head

 (By the way, Blogger was down for quite a while yesterday, and at about the same time, my computer cord decided to stop charging my computer. So I went to bed without writing--my apologies, again! This morning, after talking with an Apple Genius, I got it working. Gonna be getting myself to an Apple store in Seattle next week....)

I could do a whole post on this, but I just want to mention that die-off can be beastly. A vicious beast, at that.

I have had odd moments of it, making me less than fun to live with--as grouchy, tired, unfocused are all symptoms that I have been experiencing. They are such vague effects that it can be hard to pinpoint the cause. So die-off it is. My friend who is just five days into Intro is having the triple whammy dance with the Beast. She is doing Intro with her 5 year old daughter, and the nursling came along for the ride. And it's not been fun so far (is it ever?) I can offer lots of platitudes ("it's only temporary" "these are signs of healing" "many people have the same experience") but while it's all true, that doesn't quell the nausea. Check out her blog and offer whatever advice you've got, because a community makes this all more bearable, don't you think?

I promised you a post on headcheese, so let's get to it!

First of all, I do know that people often hesitate--or even blanch--at the thought of something like headcheese. I am not sure why that is, because some of the same people will happily eat bologna or Spam or hot-dogs. What do you think goes into lunch meats? A bunch of bits and pieces; if you are lucky they are from the same animal. We have forgotten to value offal or "the nasty bits", but we still eat them--often employing the "look the other way" approach (also known as "what I don't know won't bother me" method). If reminded, we do our best "grossed-out" teen imitation. But we still eat hot-dogs (what does "all-beef" mean, anyway? Does that say which parts are in the mix? Nope, didn't think so.)

My biggest pot is still not big enough. Luckily the lid fit over the snout

Headcheese--which is not cheese at all--is one of the best examples of culinary thrift around. It uses parts that are either thrown away, incorporated into pet food or luncheon meats. The whole head is cooked until the meat is falling-apart tender, then cooled. All of the edible bits are chopped and mixed with the gelatinous broth, then set in a large pan in the refrigerator. Pretty much everything except for the bone is edible: the meat, fat, glands, skin, and so on.

Not much to dispose of!

I was literally given a number of pig heads in the Autumn, when a local farmer butchered her pigs. We bought a half pig for our freezer, but none of her customers wanted the heads, trotters or livers. I now have all of that in a freezer locker at the local custom butcher. This is the third batch of food I have made from that amazing storehouse of fresh local food, most of which was a gift (I paid for the livers, which will become pate and liverwurst). Every time I make headcheese (also called brawn or souse) I glean about 15 pounds of food for my family. Did you grasp that? Fifteen pounds of food that costs only my labor.

Spring(ing) Ahead! And Shrimp...

Hoo boy! It seems that about a month into serious change many of us get kind of cocky, thinking we've got it a down pat, and therefore start improvising/changing/neglecting the base of what we started out to do. With the GAPS Intro diet that a group of us are doing, and several are blogging about, many are finding this to be true. It's not the overwhelming feeling of the first few days. Instead, we have gotten comfortable, almost in a rut, and tend to either stop there (" 'cause I'm feelin' so great now!"), or add new things too quickly ("I haven't reacted to anything so far, so I'll speed this up a bit..")

And then we find out why it's a good idea to always be slow and methodical when implementing radical change. Boom. Die off, or overwhelm, or reactions from something we can't identify because we added 3 foods in 2 days. So, back to the place where we last felt great, and move forward slooooowly. If I were to start a new exercise program I would do the same thing: work up to my ultimate goal methodically. It only makes sense to allow ourselves to grow into change.

I had another migraine yesterday. Migraines suck, but I learn a lot if I slow down enough to hear their message. I really think these are being caused by tense jaw muscles, despite what my dentist last said. I spent hours during the night focusing on relaxing them and that seemed to help. I am trying to make a new habit, so I will just keep reminding myself, gently, to release the muscles. I know that I will have to be especially kind when I catch myself clenching my jaws--something that started when my bridge was replaced 3 years ago. It seems that I should just be able to stop such an unnecessary and damaging action, but I just find myself doing it--and by then my head is aching.

There were some other possible triggers (including going into Goodwill, where the smell was really strong yesterday), and they do layer, making it more likely that I will react. But the muscular pattern of the headache was the same as the clenching (until the headache settled in my right eyeball for a few hours. I am pretty sure eyeballs are not involved in jaw clenching.)

By late morning I was eating, mostly recovered and had things to do... I stayed home and fairly quiet (no kids!), but did work on a couple of projects, including headcheese, which I will write about tomorrow. This, despite the fact that our mechanics were busy working on the engines, rattling the pans and cups hanging in the galley with their efforts to get them started. Hard to concentrate with that noise and diesel fumes, but the work was mostly physical and easy.

In the late afternoon a neighbor alerted us to a shrimp boat with wares to sell. Yum, the first prawns of the season! The Captain headed over with a bucket and some cash, returning with four pounds of active crustaceans. Chippy really wanted to make the acquaintance of a prawn! He loves it when we have oysters, because he always gets to eat any muscle or flesh clinging to, and to lick the juices out of, the top shells. Blondina also will catch tiny fish for him to eat fresh, so he knows and loves seafood. Why should shrimp be any different?

Of course, when face-to-face, the situation is a little different! Those prawns are armed! (See photo at top of page.) They sport what appears to be a bayonet where the rest of us have noses. Yikes. Chippy was a bit disturbed, even when I gave him one of his own to eat. It's still sitting in his dish, four hours later. Somehow, I think the cat is not impressed by the eating quality of this particular bit of seafood... The rest of us, though, ate every bit, simply boiled and served with seasoned homemade mayonnaise and a fresh salad (which I started eating in the last few days.) 

I love Spring meals! So easy to prepare, the flavors are sparkling, the food is so fresh and nourishing. It is a lovely thing indeed to be able to eat such wonderful food, full of life, and to know that it is healing as well. No suffering, at least as far as meals go, just joy and pleasure.

Baden and a couple of the other bloggers have found that daily blogging is becoming difficult, something I have also been noting. I have never written daily before, and while I really enjoy it, I am finding that sometimes it conflicts with living and the other work I need to do: caring for my family, preparing foods for the winter, working on my thesis. I am going to try to write on the weekdays and take weekends off to see if that's a better rhythm for my life. If you have particular issues you would like me to address, note it in the comments or send me an email. I have a couple of such posts in the works already, and I'd love to do more.


Happy Day!

Any stumbling blocks you have noted in your life? Have you found a solution that works?

Contentment

Yesterday was full and lovely. I missed you, and writing for you, but it was a late night...

The Professional cooking breakfast with a Smile!

Our breakfast was elegant and delicious--thanks to The Professional's hard work and her crew, 9 year old Blondina and our 13 year old neighbor, The Comedienne. They made me a festive Mother's Day banner and set a sweet and abundant table. Everyone was stuffed and didn't eat again until dinner.

The Blogess nettling, with gloves, but yes, I got stung on my forear

In the afternoon, The Captain and I went on a foraging hike to a nearby park that is essentially a wild ravine, sliced in two by a creek that rushes down from the Olympic Mountains. It is filled with dappled light, the sound of the creek and raucous crows, the smell of green. Other than a few folks with dog,s we were alone. We filled my huge gathering basket with nettles, saw gorgeous trillium, nodding bleeding hearts, salmonberry blossoms, tiny yellow pansies, and one false morel. While it was cool down by the boat, it was balmy on the trail.

I have moved on to baked and grilled meats; though I don't feel a distinct craving for them I wanted to be able to eat more meals with the family. So for dinner we had burgers and all the fixings (see Saturday's post, for the whole menu) and a fun time, before rushing off to see Grandmom and Granddad. It has become a Sunday evening ritual, to watch a movie at my in-laws, share treats, and hang out. I actually am having an easier time not being able to eat any of the treats, than I was when I was eating more widely. I bring a knob of ginger, set my tea up before the movie and sip it all evening long. This keeps me happy and I don't miss things like ice cream and popcorn (before I would eat dates and nuts, and every so often nibble on the popcorn--and I would always regret it).

I don't have brilliant things to say tonight. I am just feeling cozy, happy with where I am right now. I am helping a couple of people work out some food issues and this always gives me something to reflect upon. Then I read this wonderful post by Dr. Campbell-McBride and realized that I should just tell all of you to read it, because I can't say any of this any better. Every time I read something she writes I love her philosophy more and more...Go read it and let me know what you think! (And while you are there, subscribe to her blog).

Honoring Mom (With a Willingness to Make Her GAPS Food)

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms in my community!

I was happily surprised by my teen daughter, The Professional, asking what she could make for brunch and dinner tomorrow that I can eat! She listened attentively, verified that she knew how to make each item, made a list, then went shopping with The Captain.

What's on the menu? (I am currently in Stage Four of Intro, so use that as a reference point)

Brunch:

Eggs Florentine (a version of Eggs Benedict with cooked spinach in place of the bread. We have locally raised Canadian Bacon without junk in it, and she will use ghee for the hollandaise)

Baden's Carrot Mousse Cake (p. 132 in GAPS Guide, made without the coconut)

Sauerkraut (for me, at least)

Fruit  (for the rest of the family)

Chamomile and mint tea

Sounds pretty elegant, right?  I am very excited! Dinner will be early and simple, because we are going to my in-laws afterward, to hang out and watch a film together.

Dinner

Hamburgers (grassfed, natch)

All the toppings:  avocado, onion, lettuce, tomato, cheese, bacon, mustard, mayo, pickles (all homemade, but I will only have avocado, mayo and pickles. The whole family is used to no buns after all these years.)

Squash fries for me, potato for them

Cooked greens and onions for me (dandelion?)

Cooked rhubarb? (I am pondering this, as it's really a vegetable, and I like it tart, so could get away with a tiny amount of honey. I would have applesauce to go with it for everyone else.)

My favorite drink with meals is water with apple cider vinegar and a bit of honey. I haven't been having it since I started Intro, so the jar that was sitting already mixed up has fermented more and is like straight vinegar! I may have a bit diluted with water tomorrow. Yum. Can you tell I really like sour things?

The Captain and I are planning to gather nettles after brunch, as I really want to blanch & freeze some for the winter months. I am passionate about nettles! I will probably end up having a lunch-ish snack of chicken soup that I have on the stove, while I process the nettles.

Such simple pleasures, really. I am truly a homebody! Making and eating food with my family, gathering food in the Spring sunshine, phone calls from the older kids, a few cards (and maybe a small giftie) from the kids-in-residence. I have everything I need!

And, just in case there are any curmudgeons out there, holiday haters or whatever, remember that Mother's Day is over a hundred years old, long predating Hallmark commercialization. As a matter of fact, all cultures have some ceremony or day to honor mothers. And why not? Without us, well, you know. Everyone has one! So have a wonderful day, whether you are a mother or not. And give your mother a call, she's been waiting to hear from you...

P.S. My mom died when I was 15, so I just spend a bit of time on Mother's Day, her birthday, and other special times, meditating on the gifts she gave me. A sort of "mental phone call." I get to feel and express gratitude, even though she is not here. And I call my step-mother and see my mother-in-law (ooh, we got her the prettiest basket of flowers--don't say anything!) so it's a full day of honoring the mothers...

Spiralling In

I'm not full of wit today (sorry if you tuned in for the turns of phrase...)

It was neither a particularly great nor a particularly awful day. I had moments of craving, of feeling off, and I had moments of energy and "rightness". You know, when things just seem to work. I was home most of the day, not even sure what the weather was doing out there--which is saying a lot, because living on a boat you always sort of "know" what's going on outside, because you are barely separated from it. The dandelion wine needed additions, we bottled the dandelion "homebrew" (a sort of beer, though we use no grain, just dandelions/ginger/sweeteener), and set up the nettle beer (similar, but also has lemon juice and rind). I ran a few errands while Blondina was at ballet, but otherwise it was a simple day.

Simple physically. Not mentally. No major demons to wrestle, I was just ruminating upon the process again. Why am I feeling sort of "itchy" (mentally) and aggravated? Why does nothing seem to satisfy today? I am thinking that it has something to do with this apparent "fourth week die-off" that several of the group doing Intro have noted. Or maybe it's totally an emotional event, a sort of entitlement that comes from having "put up with deprivation". As in, I have lived this long without sweets, treats, cheese, you name it....and now I think I deserve some reward. Something to break the monotony.

Only, I love my food. I don't feel deprived (yeah, I miss cheese, but it's been three years without it, not three weeks). I have variety, richness, comfort. So what drove me to mix hazelnut butter, ghee, cinnamon and honey? And eat way more than a tiny bit? There's a little kid in me that's begging for a reward and I need to find her and have a stern talk!

I felt off after indulging. And guilty, again. This time I decided to fight back: I fixed an equally luscious snack of an avocado half filled with fermented salmon and the onions and lemon from the brine. Which actually erased the weird feelings.

Why didn't I think of the second snack earlier? My mind was pushing toward these new and "edgy" foods, doggedly avoiding any other solution to the gnawing (not hunger, just a weird emptiness). Maybe I was bored and looking for entertainment, or maybe I really did need a high fat snack. Whatever it was, I have to learn to practice a bit of patience and do some reflecting before I go grab something. I need to make an effort to discern what I really need, not just what I want.

The other day I wrote about my concept of the "health onion", that peeling back of layers as you dig deeper, discarding superficial symptoms and homing in on the meatier issues. I have another way of looking at the whole idea of healing, one that Susun Weed lays out eloquently for us in Healing Wise. At the beginning of the book, she describes what she sees as the three major traditions of healing (Scientific--"trust my machine", Heroic--"trust me", and Wise Woman--"trust yourself"). The Wise Woman path is not straight, rather it spirals:

The symbol of the Wise Woman tradition is a spiral.
A spiral is a cycle as It moves through time.
A spiral is movement around and beyond a circle, always returning to itself,
But never at exactly the same place. Spirals never repeat themselves.

The symbol of the Wise Woman tradition is the spiral.
The spiral is the bubbling cauldron.
The spiral is the curl of the wave.
The spiral is the lift of the wind.
The spiral is the whirlpool of water.
The spiral is the umbilical cord.
The spiral is the great serpent.
The spiral is the path of the earth.
The spiral is the twist of the helix.
The spiral is the spin of our galaxy. The spiral is the soft guts.
The spiral is the labyrinth.
The spiral is the womb-moon-tide mobius pull.
The spiral is your individual life.
The spiral is the passage between worlds: birth passing into death passing into birth.
The path of enlightenment is the spiral dance of bliss.

The symbol of the Wise Woman Tradition is a spiral.
Twelve is the number of established order.
One step beyond is thirteen, the wild card, the indivisible prime, the number of change.
Walk a spiral, you will inevitably come to the unique next step, the unknown, the thirteenth step, the opportunity for change, the window of transformation.
The thirteenth step creates the spiral.

 Taken from the Weed Wanderings Archive, which has excerpts from the book

One of the reasons I love Dr. Natasha is that she is a Wise Woman, despite her training in the scientific and heroic traditions. She believes that we can heal ourselves and our families. That we can use food to heal. That we can trust the messy and mysterious process. "Walk a spiral, you will inevitably come to the unique next step, the unknown, the thirteenth step, the opportunity for change, the window of transformation." YES! When we face the unknown, work with it, hang in there, we have an enormous opportunity for change.


Did you notice the idea that a spiral returns to itself but is never the same? It is the same with waves, constantly moving in a similar pattern, but never exactly the same. As it is with snowflakes. With the movement of the seasons, with...everything. We spiral through our lives, touching similar moments to ones in the past, but never repeating exactly . As soon as we have something figured out, the ground shifts a bit, circumstances change. And then what we "know" is not there either. It has changed too, and the moment is now an opportunity to keep paying attention. Which, in reality, are all moments.

I can't promise that by paying attention, creating awareness, we will vanquish all cravings--and every other human ill. Instead, I suggest that being in a state of awareness is the only way to avoid what I did today. Which was to numbly go along with the Next Bright idea. I wasn't focused or clear, I was on automatic. Awareness is the opposite of being On Automatic. It is fully being present on the path. And as I do see that path as spiral, so I know the opportunity will arise for me to revisit how I deal with yucky feelings, cravings, and so on.

That's a good thing. I get to do it again! And this time, with awareness. If not, if I forget, guess what? I get to do it again. With awareness. Or not. My choice. But I do know how it will turn out whichever choice I make. I can give up the guilt and realize that I choose which fork of the path to follow, and I can own the results.

My treat tasted really good. I enjoyed it. I think my odd feelings were produced by the debate going on in my head, not by a reaction in my gut. And it caused me to think hard about being either deliberate or reflexive in my actions, so that's a positive outcome as well.

Funny enough, my dad's been telling me this for years: "Pay Attention!" It's been drilled into me (one of the joys of being the daughter of a shrink) so I guess I fight it. If I wasn't careful in the kitchen, it was due to not paying attention. If I bumped into something.... You get the idea. Another way he phrases it is to "respond" thoughtfully, instead of "reacting" in a situation. Same idea: pay attention! (and act accordingly).


Someone please tell me though, how do I get the The Shrink's voice out of my head? It's high time I replaced it with my own!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How do you stay aware? Does that help you to be more successful in taking care of yourself?

A Golden Day

Thanks so much for the kind comments, on and off the blog!

I had a fabulous day in the sun, on the Tribal Edge land. I gathered wild greens, cooked a wonderful lunch and watched the kids revel in the day. Not much more to say than that!

The sun on Jimmy-Come-Lately Creek, on the Tribal Edge Land in Blyn

Lunch was omelets filled with sauteed onions and nettles. On the side: sauteed mixed greens with a bit of bacon (dandelion, baby dock leaves, chickweed), cumin/lemon sauerkraut, fermented salmon, avocado. We also sipped an infusion of lemon balm and nettles. Really, could a lunch be more amazing? Eaten in the sun and the breeze, with friends and birds and butterflies....

I added roast meat today, in the form of chicken. Another fabulous meal! GAPS is no restriction, just an excuse to try new foods... We had sugar snap peas with bacon fat (the good stuff, without junk in it, of course) and a vegetable dish of yellow squash, tomato, morels, leeks--so very yummy!

Today I feel great, despite my dentist saying the appliance hadn't caused my migraine. Back to the hormone theory, which is probably the "horse" in this situation. I am getting good training in being flexible, in leaving dogma behind. It really doesn't matter too much what caused it, because they are now fewer, easier to treat, and I think that they will go after menopause, from listening to others' experiences.

And now, off for a much needed evening with The Captain. I hope your evening/day is full of love, sunlight and laughter!

Bumps in the Road

I skipped posting yesterday. I missed writing, but was grappling with a nasty migraine. The shakiness hasn't quite gone, but I do want to quickly share my thoughts.

I have been getting migraines since I was about 22. Over the years I have eliminated any food triggers I could identify (not foods really, but additives: MSG and sodium metabisulfite, and all sulfites to some extent). When I stopped eating wheat almost nine years ago, I became less sensitive to other things. I believe there is a multiplying effect when we are exposed to multiple irritants, at least that was the case for me. None of the foods implicated in causing migraines have ever seemed to be trigger foods for me.

Now the main causes are my hormones (and I am peri-menopausal, so that's pretty unpredictable these days!) and my jaw muscles. For the last year, I have been working with a local holistic dentist on my TMJ and other jaw muscle issues. The last two migraines I have had seem to be related to this work. Which is both awful and wonderful--something is changing, and I can almost watch it make a migraine! I can feel how different my bite feels today than it did a few weeks ago, and I am sure this is the main reason I developed that 14 hour headache.

Yes, it feels good to identify the cause of a problem. But that does not make it go away. I have seen my chiropractor this week, and that helps me to feel better, but what I have is an entrenched pattern that doesn't really go away with adjustments. I can only hope that the bite guard will eventually be successful and that my body will stop protesting the retraining!

In the meantime, I ended up doing a couple of non-GAPS (at least, definitely non-Intro and fairly advanced) things to help me through without medication. Chocolate. Chocolate seems to help my migraines (it could be the magnesium, and it could also be that theobromine has a magic to it. For the record, caffeine does not help my migraines at all.) I also have some herbs that help, so I use what works. It's better for my gut than the large amounts of ibuprofen I have taken in the past... I also use cold washcloths on my head, and I eventually got into our hot tub to relax.

I felt guilty, though, as is I were letting myself and you all down. Silly, when I am wrestling with the beast, I know, but there it is. I had to talk sternly with myself through the whole night and day of pain. Doing what works, and what will keep me from the intense nausea and vomiting I sometimes experience, seems a sane choice. Still, I mourn my "textbook" experience of Intro.

I noted today that Baden has also been dealing with some similar issues--those of choosing to do what works for onesself, even while in Intro, and of forgiving ourselves for "not doing it perfectly".  Baden and I, and perhaps a few others, are doing Intro this time as a sort of re-commitment or tune-up. We have done it before, and therefore have some idea of what our particular issues might be. So if we write that we ate______ (whatever that might be) that does not really mean it's advisable in Intro, especially the first time through.

And that is partly why I feel so bad, because I want to set an example, a path that others can follow as they struggle with their own issues. And, while I don't think that carving my own solution is bad in and of itself, I feel that it muddies the waters a bit, making it harder for others to discern what to do in a sticky situation.

As Baden also describes, I was wrestling with whether to say anything, whether to brush this little indiscretion under the rug. I do believe, though, that you would rather hear about my struggles honestly described, not prettied up for your benefit. I can only hope that it helps to hear that I am not so stoic and perfect, that I couldn't endure a 14 hour migraine without some relief!

I did finally add the nut butter to my pancakes, a small amount on two different days. I think that is fine, as I would have expected heartburn as a first warning sign, and that didn't happen.  So I am on Stage 4, and I have added olive oil--so nice to have! I made a "salad" of cooked beets with lemon and olive oil, along with Moroccan spicing, which was wonderful to eat and to share! Next up: Roast meat and juicing. I think we will have roast chicken tomorrow, so that comes first. I'll let you know how it goes...

Hopefully you are still with me, on this bumpy journey. Please do let me know if there are any topics you would like me to address! I would love to have this be a more interactive process...

Have you ever gone into an endeavor with full enthusiasm but stumbled in your execution? How did that make you feel? What did you do about it?

Nobody Likes A Zealot: How To Help... and Keep Your Friends

Usually, when I attempt to explain why my family eats the way we do, I am met with blank stares, confusion or even disbelief. A rare few grasp that what I am talking about is a diet filled with fresh, delicious food, heavy on the fats and ferments, and groan with pleasure. Only when I am talking to those already in the know do they understand why. Why would I craft a diet that flies in the face of all we have been taught by doctors, nutritionists, media and government agencies? Why would I celebrate broth, sauerkraut and butter? Why is there no cereal in my home?

Today I read a fairly straightforward article that explains why. You could give it to your mom and she might begin to see what you have been getting at during all of those heated conversations. The author, Ari LeVaux, doesn't go into any depth, rather he gives a tour of various theories of how the microbes we live with affect our bodies, lives and minds. He gives a rough sketch of ways we have changed our relationship to those microbes since the industrialization of the food supply, and points to some research on ways to address our dwindling beneficial gut population.

The article even mentions GAPS! Which is fabulous for our efforts to help more people, no? Alternet is not totally mainstream, but, according to their "About us" page, they get 3 million monthly visitors. That's a lot of eyeballs potentially reading this article. So get ready, because the questions are going to fly...

Beyond articles that take a complex subject and break it down into simple nuggets that we can feed to the skeptics around us, what else can we do to help our friends and family find the health we are pushing toward? I wrestle with this a lot. I can't make anybody see "reason" the way I see it. I have come to this point through many health challenges, through much reading, conversation, and experimentation. It has been a years-long process. Why should I expect anyone else to care with the same passion about the odd information I am trying to pass along?

The Captain says it's a bit like proselytizing about religion. People either have none (and don't want any, thank you very much!) or they have one that suits them just fine. Why would they want the one that comes from some stranger? Or even from a friend? I mean, it's just too personal. You'd think I was telling people how to have sex sometimes, from the horror on people's faces when I suggest that the food they are about to put in their mouths is not really food at all. OK, I don't really do that (I don't want people to hate me--then they wouldn't listen at all). But talking about people's food is a lot like talking about how they relate to G-d or their partner.

Which means: tread very carefully. Be kind. Show a lot more than you tell.

The best way to help others, therefore, is to get healthy yourself. Take care of what you need, do the experimentation on your own self (and your family--they are fair game...) When you are radiant, or at least much healthier and happier than last year (or last week!) the skeptics may admit that it works. At least for you. Keep after it though, because there's nothing like a real live example to convince people that something has merit.

If you are far enough into your journey that you have energy, in addition to your enthusiasm, consider being part of a support group, online or in the flesh. Use your knowledge to help others who are looking for assistance. That's important! It's a really successful form of activism, because we can channel our zeal into a forum where it will be useful and productive. These people want to hear what you have to say, they are hungry for it. Many successful groups depend on mentors, anything from La Leche League to AA. If you feel strong--and grateful enough about the solution you have found-go be a mentor to someone in need.

You've got a friend or family member who is truly sick? How do you approach that? First, with respect (and a healthy dose of trepidation). Find out if they really want to change, if it's bad enough that they are willing to do some (temporarily) unpleasant things. It's no use forcing broth down Susie's throat if she won't do an enema if necessary.

I know that sounds harsh. How about we substitute a different scenario? In this one, we are helping an alcoholic friend whose life is devolving into a shambles. We help them arrange for time off, bring healthy meals and sit for long hours watching movies together. When we go home for the night, another friend brings a bottle to share. And this goes on... Even if we sleep over, somehow the alcohol shows up, is hidden or they drink the mouthwash.

Can you see what I mean? If it's my bright idea, there will be no follow through. It's like the old joke: "How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he really has to want to change..."  It's the same with diet. No one will change unless they want to. Really. Unless they are miserable, as when an alcoholic "hits bottom", they will not do what we suggest. And even then, they may do it half-heartedly, relapse, founder a bit, try again, and so on.

When I was in midwifery school, one of the things I learned was not to want an outcome more than the client wanted it. They might have said emphatically that they wanted a home-birth, but in the end, some women feel safer in the hospital. I might have been hired to help a woman breastfeed successfully, but if I pushed the issue, I might find to whole effort backfiring. I learned that the best midwives "sit on their hands". They watch, they wait, they support. They do not insinuate themselves into someone else's motives--yes, even though we are hired to help, we still must let the woman choose what she wants at each moment.

And so it is with diet. "Watchful waiting" is a great guideline. Observe, and support if the time is ripe. This is not to say that you can't share your personal successes. On the contrary, that may be the only thing that will help someone else--as I said above, personal example is the most compelling tool we have. Rather than trying to convince, just be you. Share your food: invite people over or bring your yummies to a potluck or the office.

I do want to add that if you are dealing with a sick small child, or possibly a family member who is so sick that drastic measures are about to be taken, well, then none of these guidelines apply. We must do what is necessary in extreme situations.

To summarize, help others taste the approach to food that has changed my/your life:

1. Do your own work: Take care of yourself, get healthy.

2. Share your success. (Tastefully) show it off a bit... Make a fabulous meal for friends.

3. Support the people who are clamoring for the help--become a mentor.

If, after following the above steps, you still want to tell the whole world, you could do what I am doing: start a blog, get a degree in nutrition, teach workshops.

But don't say I didn't warn you....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the way (as she shares some success on Day 20),  I am starting stage 4 of Intro, though I skipped the nut butter part of the pancakes, owing to a bit of intuition that told me to wait a bit on nuts. So far, so good--no major reactions, and the vertigo seems to have cleared up. I never got the family cold beyond some congestion and a sore throat. Funny enough, as my sore throat cleared I noticed that my tonsils--always enormous, fleshy and nodular in appearance--have shrunken to almost normal! This is huge for me, something I have always seen as odd, and now I can see that my immune system was really always on high alert. I will be thrilled if I end up with normal tonsils--and a normal immune system, that can rest when it's not facing an acute illness. Amazing!

The Process: Elaine Gottschall, Onions and Zebras

I have had many health issues over the years, some major but most pretty minor. Or so I thought. As I have worked through these symptoms one by one, though diet, herbs, chiropractic, and other approaches, I have learned that most of my issues, even the minor ones, are related. And therefore, they are not as insignificant as I had imagined (or had been told, by doctors, among others).

What's a concerning "minor" symptom? Really, they are legion, but let's start with heartburn (a sign of gut dysbiosis, food sensitivities and lack of--yes, you read that correctly--stomach acid). How about foot pain? Plantar fascitis is treated as a management problem, with the recommendation to change your footwear. But it can be a sign of metabolic disorders, like thyroid issues. Tinnitis? That super-annoying ringing in the ears can be a sign of allergies, which in turn are a product of both gut dysbiosis and adrenal insufficiency (and that pesky thyroid again).

I could go on, but I think the point is clear: minor problems are often (usually?) signs of something going wrong on a deeper level. I wish I had known that when each one of my kids developed eczema as a baby. Even my naturopath didn't seem all that concerned, suggesting things like borage oil, but no overall changes in our diets or other approaches (in retrospect, I don't think he had any idea what to do. He was a vegetarian, skinny with a bloated gut. That should have been a tip off--except those were my veggie days...) We were using Bandaids to fix trickles that were later to become hemorrhages...

Over the years, I have had to become educated about each issue we faced. Because no one practitioner seemed to have all the answers, and because some of the answers we were given were not only wrong, they were damaging. I learned about lung function when 3 kids developed asthma. I studied the blood when one developed ITP (a condition where the body destroys its own platelets). And I delved into digestive disorders when one developed ulcerative colitis.

A mom will do anything for her kids, right? So I stayed up at night researching--night after night. I tried different things (sometimes all at once, which I don't recommend--very complicating). And I eventually found a path that resonated: The SCD (Specific Carbohydrate Diet). At about the same time, I discovered Nourishing Traditions. Suddenly, and it really was like being hit by lightning, I got what was wrong: we were eating products. Processed food. Organic vegetarian junk food. And it was gonna kill us if we kept doing it for much longer.

So I dumped the junk (well, being a miser and a bit of a skeptic, I put it into our utility closet. I threw it out some years later when I found the bags full of cockroach-infested containers. Ugh.) And went whole hog into the world of grain-free grass-fed goodness. We did dabble with soaked grains and we drank our fair share of raw milk, but eventually we found our way to GAPS, where Dr. Natasha teaches the same marrying of the SCD and traditional diets, with emphasis on food quality, digestible preparations and ferments. That is what I had been trying to figure out myself! I was thrilled.

Well, now I should be writing about the Happily Ever After part, no?

Life is never that straightforward, though. The day I spoke on the phone with Elaine Gottschall I shook as she told me "your daughter is very sick. It took a long time for her to get that way and it will take some time to heal her." She was one tough cookie.  She wasn't going to waste a second allowing me to be emotional and indulgent. She wanted me to roll my sleeves up and dig in, for the duration. For my daughter. And as it turned out, for us all.

I wish I knew the date of that call. I'm going to guess it was in 2004 or 2005, not too long before she died. She shored me up when I was wavering---albeit in her gruff, no-nonsense style. When I asked her a specific question she barked, "didn't you read my book??" (yes, of course I had, but I was still confused, and scared, and...) G-d love her. She helped so many.

I started down this path to find answers for my kids. But I am the one who really benefited. I had had more years to get sick than any of my children, so I am still working it all out, but the changes have been enormous. I liken the whole process to peeling back the layers of an onion--the Health Onion. Each step gets us closer to the core, but you have to be patient. And, for sure, we will shed tears in the process.

As I have mentioned previously, to unravel these health mysteries we must be methodical and analytical, like scientists. Keeping good notes helps, taking baby steps helps, keeping the variables simple is essential. And yet, sometimes things are still murky. What to do then? Different situations call for different approaches. I read a lot, looking for clues (that's how I figured out I was hypothyroid). I talk to people about their experiences (always keeping an open mind and a grain of salt handy). I do things like Intro which give me a lot of insight, if done carefully.

And still things may be unclear. For example, in the last week my lower legs have been swelling every night, filled with fluid that goes away within a few hours after lying down. I have had this before, when pregnant and when my hypothyroidism was at its worst. But neither of those conditions apply now. So what's going on?

In midwifery school we were taught the common medical aphorism "when you hear hoof beats, don't look for zebras (look for horses)". Which means that the common explanation or diagnosis is more likely than the rare, odd, dramatic one. This is meant to keep med students from assigning the disease-of-the week to every patient they see. It's a useful guideline for us too.

I saw my chiropractor yesterday and asked her about my legs. She reads my blog (hi Dr. Jody!) and suggested that perhaps I am sitting for longer stretches of time than I had been accustomed to because I have been writing so regularly (and reading everyone else's blogs) She showed me a few stretches and recommended that I take frequent breaks to get my lymph flowing (by walking and doing the movements she showed me). I am writing this lying down, with my laptop propped on a pillow. I am also trying to create a standing workspace. Varying my movement has already improved the situation--tonight my legs feel pretty normal.

Learning what works is like that: use all of your resources, experiment with different approaches, go back and learn some more. Try it again. Each time you will dispatch another layer of that onion. And just when it seems too confusing, remember the zebras: they live in Africa, not in your backyard. What makes the most sense in your world? Look there, because there might be your answer.


What tools do you use to problem solve? How are you working on your "health onion?"

The Kids Are Allright

Yesterday's post seems to have stirred up a lot of memories, feelings, insights in my readers. I am loving the conversation that is starting to unfold in the comments every day! This is one of the things that I have been hoping to stimulate (and haven't even written about sex yet!)--who knew that GAPS Intro would do that, too?

The last part of Gina's comment made me think about a really common issue, and not just in GAPS families:

Another big change from "Grandmas way" that has happened is when Grandma cooked, you ate it. There was no requesting what to eat as kids. Nowadays, moms are always making what their kids want to eat. I'm trying to change that in our house also. My job is to put healthy food on the table, it's their job to eat it.

I couldn't agree more. 

And yet, I, too, struggle with this. Like many moms, I have had my moments of taking the easy way out, of catering to kids--just so I don't have to hear the complaints. Usually that means avoiding a certain ingredient or dishing up a slightly "edited" version of the family dish to a picky kid. As any mega-mom, or mom-of-many, will tell you, this is unsustainable for long. With 7, 8, 9 people at the table, I would go absolutely bonkers trying to keep everyone happy.

It's The Captain who shores me up in those moments, when the lips are curling and the whining starts. "More for us" he says. Cap'n Gary adds his two cents: "Mais fica" (Portuguese for "more for me"). Never mind that a mother is always worrying that her kid(s) will starve if they don't like the meal. The guys know what to do: Eat. 

Then let the kids eat or not. Don't struggle. Struggling, catering, worrying--these all create weird energy around the dinner table. And that's not conducive to a warm family meal, is it? Eventually, the consistency of family meals will set the tone, and the kids will try things. Maybe. If you can find it in you not to care to much about whether they do or not.

(Bribing creates strange energy at the table too, though it might be necessary in extreme situations, especially with non-verbal kids, or ones whose behavior is so out of control that the bribe is the lesser of evils. But it should be a temporary measure, until enough broth and probiotics have worked their magic).

I know. It feels like defeat to let the kids opt out of the meal (or parts of it). But catering to picky tastes is much worse. It creates a veritable monster, one where the kids are in charge (you've heard the one about the inmates running the asylum, right? Never a good idea!) This is one of those situations where we get to exercise our parental wisdom and stand fast. Make great food, offer it up, and let go of the ultimate result.

Which will be, from my experience: the kids will pick at the food, make every attempt to get out of the meal, and when they are teens they will arrange to eat their meals at friends' houses. You think I am kidding? This is the news from the trenches! My teens live for junk food. What's here in my kitchen, all of my grass-fed this, local that, and the organic other things? Yeah, right. My teens are in rebellion and junk food is the battle cry.

How do I deal with this? I am learning to ignore it, for the most part. No junk is allowed on the boat. Which is not to say that it's never been here, because I have found disgusting things under bunks and in hanging lockers (closets) belonging to the kids. I pitch what I find, no comments necessary. And I go on making the food I believe in. If they want to buy their own food and cook it, well, I am not going to struggle anymore.

I have been there, with a sick kid. It was no fun to hear her comments to the effect that I was "ruining her life" when I was trying to adjust our diet to help her. She was sourcing the junk anyway, so I am not sure if I was accomplishing anything except bruising our relationship. In the end, she has become a healthy young woman, fairly sensitive to what she eats. Maybe not how I would be, but a big change from where she was in her younger teen years. And she's a fabulous cook.

And that's the way it has been with all of the older kids, six of whom are now adults (19-30+). They have found their way to healthier diets that probably owe a lot to the foundation they were given at home (two have never lived with me, but they have still learned from the way we eat, and often ask questions, share discoveries, etc). They are (spread among the six) gardening, fishing, wildcrafting herbs, experimenting with new preparations, fermenting, sourcing things like raw milk and duck eggs, and more. And they are becoming the Wise Ones in their communities! They relish sharing good food with others! They are not subsisting on Dairy Queen! They are all amazing cooks, and food is important to them (one even sports a tattoo to that effect!)

Will this work with all kids? I am not sure really. If I had a kid with an autism spectrum disorder, one who was not at all cooperative with the dietary changes, I might proceed differently (see above comment about bribes). Had I started earlier with these changes I might not have had issues at all, because it would have been all the kids knew.  All I know is that struggling over food is counter-productive (read any of Ellyn Satter's work to understand what I mean, though I don't agree with her dietary recommendations).

In general, kids are looking for guidance--despite all of their loud protests to the contrary--and this is another area where we can provide it. They will look back on family meals fondly if we can take the contention out of the eating part. One thing Ellyn Satter says that I do heartily agree with is to make sure there is one thing on the table we know they like. She gives bread as an example, but why be so uninspired? The choices are endless--just pick something that you know they accept and put it out with the iffier dishes. 

And make some meals they love! Food shouldn't be torture, even if it is healing. Tonight I made a dish inspired by something Baden mentioned, a sort of ratatouille with ground beef. Mine turned out like a mild chili so I marketed it that way--and it got eaten! I just didn't mention things like eggplant and zucchini... (shh! don't tell them!) Steak is a favorite around here, so we have it at least once a week. Soup goes over better if it doesn't show up every night (they are not doing Intro. And if you are, remember, Intro is temporary).

Ultimately, as Gina said, it's our job to serve good food and theirs to eat it. Satter's twist, and my suggestion as well, is to let them decide exactly what and how much they will eat. You may not have The Captain there to bolster your courage, but trust me, the kids will be all right.

 How are meals going at your house? Any tips to share with us about inspiring kids to eat (well)?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

OK ladies, I did not know pheromones worked through blog posts, but I too have gotten my period today! It's a stealth attack, no forewarning--and that's saying something, because (as a perimenopausal woman) I haven't cycled in months! How odd. I really have no idea what to expect, but I can see that Intro is normalizing my hormones. I guess it's a good thing, though how long this will go on, I have no clue (I will be 50 in July).  Any older women want to give me the lay of the land?

Bubbe Meises

The Shrink (my dad), loves to joke. He is witty and very able with a pun. But he is downright wicked when it comes to funny commentary on the habits of our forbears, all Eastern European Jews from Russia and Hungary. The food (think kugel and kasha varnishkes, shmaltz and chopped liver), the relationships ("how's your motha?" "my son the doctor" and so on), and the geeky intellectualism (Woody Allen meets Albert Einstein) are all fair game. Sometimes, though, I can hear a bit of childhood fear of the formidable bubbe (grandmother) coming through. As in the subject of enemas. Which are a favorite target of his brand of humor.

The enema was a useful threat of his (with a twinkle in his eye of course). If we weren't cooperating, he'd ask if we would like an enema at that moment... and when you put it that way, well, who would answer in the affirmative? Really, I mean, what 14 year old would respond well to such a bizarre notion? It must be really awful if The Shrink was using it to dissuade certain behaviors (not that we'd ever had one, or had any idea of what it really meant).

As strange as it seems, given the conditioning from my dad, one of the things that I so love about Dr. Natasha is that she reminds me of my grandmothers. She embraces liver, shmaltz, and yes, enemas. No joking about that, she knows what's good about the old ways. She is a scientist in her overall approach, using her medical training to evaluate each situation and choose a direction. More often than not, though, that direction owes more to the Bubbes than to medical school and pharmaceutical companies. As a first generation immigrant from Russia, she has not thrown over all of the wonderful practices that are handed down from mother to daughter. Instead, she is teaching them to us, so that we can heal ourselves and our families.

This is the approach I am drawn to over and over, the whole reason for The New Hunter Gatherer. The wisdom of The Grandmothers is precious, but it has been imperiled by the rise of industrial agriculture, industrial medicine, industrial education. I feel that I can change that with each decision I make at home. A pot of stock can make a difference. A batch of yoghurt or pickles. An herbal tea and a steam bath instead of an over-the-counter medicine. We are not perfect about this, and have been known to eat out or take a pain reliever on occasion. But with each successful food we forage or ear infection we treat at home, we are reclaiming the independence, the wisdom, inherent in traditional knowledge.

And so it is with Dr. Natasha. She has laid out a protocol of self-treatment she calls the GAPS program, but she acknowledges that her primary expertise has been in assembling age-old approaches and helping people figure out how to apply them to their baffling situations. She teaches, as I always mean to, that we can look to the ways that women have always used to keep their families healthy, and that we can wrest control of our health and happiness from corporations, supermarkets, and even doctors.

What does that have to do with enemas?  Well, we know from Dr. Natasha that it's super important to poop daily (sorry, but this is a subject that needs addressing). This is especially crucial on GAPS Intro, where you don't want go 36 hours without a bowel movement. When doing Intro (or even beginning full GAPS), we are inciting our bodies to detoxify naturally. That is, we are helping our bodies clear any pathogenic material that might have been making us feel like, well, crap. In whatever form that is for us (or our kids, if you are helping a kid through GAPS).

When we detox, we pull this junk from its storage places in the body and it all has to go somewhere. Sometimes when we shift our diets radically, as in Intro or full GAPS (depending on where you start), the elimination part of this process slows down. This yucky stuff is now loose and needs to be sent on its way. Like NOW. So we can't wait for our bodies to just get around to it, we have to help (until the situation has shifted enough to let our bodies take over).

I should add that everyone detoxifies all the time, without any additional help. This is a normal part of being alive. We eat, utilize what we can (hopefully what we need), and then eliminate the rest. Nowadays, though, many of our bodies are not functioning optimally, so this normal process doesn't work so well. This is especially common in people who have conditions that GAPS addresses.

The nitty gritty:  Feces are comprised not only of toxins and insoluble fiber, but in large part, of dead microbes. Gut bacteria, yeasts and viruses that have lived their useful lives and now serve to bulk up the stool. But most GAPS people don't have enough of that wonderful stuff. That's why we eat/drink/supplement with probiotics. We may still be at the stage where we are taking in tiny amounts of these helpers, so they aren't quite doing their full work yet.

All of this can equal constipation. Which definitely does not do the job of eliminating the baddies we weeded out! So what to do? Dr. Natasha recommends a few things: enemas, increasing fats, and juicing, primarily. She has several suggestions on her FAQ's page, which is useful for sorting out all sorts of other issues as well. Ultimately, the diet will resolve this situation, and it is temporary, so these remedies are coping tools to help us until the time when our bodies re-learn how to eliminate healthfully.

GAPS Guide and the GAPSHelp list both have great support and suggestions--Baden even has detailed enema directions in the book. Which is a good thing, because most of us have heard bubbe meises (old wives' tales) about how awful it is to do an enema. Come to think of it, most of us have negative opinions about chopped liver too. And fermented things (someone told me once that pickles are just rotten cucumbers...)

Let me reassure you: The Shrink knows a lot. But in some areas, I defer to the Bubbes. Chopped liver is delicious. Pickles (the real fermented kind) are not only yummy, they help your gut to be happy and healthy. Sour milk is food and medicine, not garbage. And enemas are, well, a relief. They are one more tool in the quest to be healthy, and therefore sane and happy.

I honestly could have called my blog "The Wisdom of the Grandmothers" (except that name was taken) because I think that everything I need to know I have learned from studying the Old Ways. I am still surprised when people react with fear or disgust at the thought of traditional foods and practices. I suppose I shouldn't be though, because most of us don't have a bubbe to pass on this knowledge.  So we have to dig it out of books, and look to other countries that have preserved traditions long forgotten in the west. We have to treasure people, like Dr. Natasha, who so ably marry the information of Science with practicality and effectiveness of Traditional Knowledge.

It can be hard to sort the fact from the fiction when it comes to health and nutrition information. So many of these old ways that I am praising have been characterized as hopelessly old-fashioned in the push to embrace Science. Remember "Better Living Though Chemistry"? Now we are learning more and more about the complications that ensue from such a romantic image of industry. We are currently on alert for radiation poisoning,  plastics leaching into our foods, drug-resistant "super-bugs", manufactured fats (trans-fats) and so much more.

The upshot is that there's renewed interest in the Old Ways, the ways of The Grandmothers. I can only hope to channel a bit of that wisdom as I sit down each day to write for you. Maybe, just maybe, we can reclaim traditional knowledge from the label of "bubbe meise." Because we really need some Old Wives to tell us their tales right about now....

What Old Ways are you helping to revive? What skills would you like to hand down to your kids?


Dedicated to Gladys Sussman Robinson, 1904-1999 (The Shrink's mom)

A Day's Meals. With Pictures.

I survived Easter.  But....

I have a confession: I had a honey lollipop (which I made from honey. And lollipop sticks). Well I didn't eat it, I used it to stir my ginger tea. And I think it was about the same amount of honey I would have used anyway--it lasted for a few cups of tea--but I still feel guilty because it was "candy". It made me feel part of the festivities though, and kept me from thinking about truffles. Because chocolate is my downfall. I adore any dark chocolate. Even unsweetened. So I think that the honey-in-the-form-of-a-lollipop was a pretty good compromise.

For a smart brain, my mind is easily manipulated. Just sayin'. But it's good to know.

Anyway, what I wanted to share today is my day in meals. Because people ask "what do you eat for breakfast?" and "don't you get tired of soup?" and other things along those lines. I actually got told last night that my dinner (which was part of their dinner, a part they liked very much) wasn't as good as theirs. Sigh. It was wonderful, a rich geoduck chowder garnished with avocado, full of flavor and color and texture.

So this is my day, with notes. Be aware that I am on Stage 3, though I am not yet eating ghee or nut butters (this week, slowly, I will add them).

Breakfast: (preceded by lemon water) (left to right)

2 soft boiled pastured eggs
Leftover chicken stew with mushrooms
Avocado
Sauerkraut
In the mug: ginger tea with lemon and honey (I am trying to ward off the resident sore throat/respiratory yuck)

Lunch:
Pancake (mashed cauliflower and egg, fried in meat drippings)
Toppings: avocado and sauerkraut
Gravlax (fermented salmon, tastes sort of like lox, but fresher!)
More ginger tea, throughout the day

Dinner:
Chicken Soup. And what wonderful chicken soup it was! Made with a stewing hen (an older, more exercised, bird is too tough to roast, but makes the best soup-- it's full of connective tissue and yellow fat--and flavor!), I broke the whole carcass into large pieces after it cooked, not bothering to separate the bones out, so I could gnaw on them later. I added carrots, a huge leek, kale raab and lots of fresh parsley, in addition to sea salt and pepper. I had some sauerkraut after I had two bowls of soup.


I am not sure there is a typical day for me, as far as meals go. Before this round of Intro, I was accustomed to eating four fried eggs with leftover salad or other vegetables, and tea, for breakfast. Lunch was leftovers (or a LaraBar, if out and about without food). Dinner was/is a sit down family meal with some meat dish and vegetables and/or salad. Somehow potatoes and corn tortillas had crept into our meals, once or twice a week. I made an effort to have a ferment at dinner, and usually had some with my breakfast.

Now, I don't really know what meals will look like. I have a renewed commitment to incorporating ferments, reducing nuts and sweets like dates. And chocolate. And starches. Intro has reminded me how much flavor and satisfaction come from simple foods, well-prepared. I see no reason not to continue eating this way, even when more foods are incorporated. 

It all tastes so good, is improving my health, and it's pretty easy to prepare. What's not to like? I hope the photos inspire, because I think the food is as lovely to look at as it was to eat...


Do you want more food photos and recipes? And I'd love to hear about your food...




 

Rituals--Small and Large

Today was a normal Saturday--mostly. The Captain and I went to the farmer's market as usual, but not before he had hauled The Bosun up the mast of Mother Goose (our sailboat, and she came to us with that name. It's fitting, isn't it?). We have been fixing it up so Grandad can sail it by himself--and he's so excited he makes the 30 minute trip into Port Angeles almost every day to check on the progress. The Bosun replaced a light and an antenna, and then we were off to see our farmers.

The spring veggies seem a bit slow in coming this year. There are a few greens like kale raab and some hothouse lettuce, and there are leeks (all of which I bought). And potatoes, lots of potatoes (I skipped those, natch!). I sometimes joke that I can get through the market without buying anything green, because ours is a full-service market. Today the haul was beef liver and steaks, local cheeses for The Captain and Blondina (who share a fondness for what he calls "psychedelic" cheese--the stinkier the better), eggs (soy and corn free! The feed is locally grown too...) I am missing our lamb farmer who injured himself badly recently. And there was no salmon yet, only cod, so we didn't get fish (we had cod last week and fish is a hard sell with the kids). Still, we are so very lucky to have a year-round market here, and we could live very well, if a bit monotonously, on the winter offerings.

I always feel so connected going to the market. The farmers have become friends, friends who point out something special, save things for us that they know we will like, who will discuss the finer points of chickweed preparation (oh, I got some of those too, because I don't have a good foraging spot for them yet).  It is rare for me to set foot in the local supermarket, something I do for things like charcoal and trash bags. Between the market, the health food store, foraging and gleaning we are covered. We usually buy meat by the side from a farmer, which goes into a chest freezer on our top deck. As I said yesterday, we (truly) have everything we need.

The Blogess and Blondina cutting and coating marshmallows

Still, I shopped for Easter basket fillers today: pencils, stickers, Silly Putty. I had already thrifted some adorable stuffed animals and a few other geegaws. Then I spent some time organizing the treats. I broke the nut brittle, shaped the truffles and cut out the marshmallows. We may have everything we need, but the kids do enjoy such small rituals--and they get so little that's special otherwise. We don't watch TV or go to amusement parks (but we do have the best County Fair ever!) We live a pretty simple life, which is why I feel o.k indulging them a bit on occasion.

I must admit that I did lick my fingers during Operation Marshmallow. The ingredients are all on Intro, but I still felt guilty. Kind of like following the letter of the law but not the spirit of it...

Otherwise, I am doing pretty well, now that it's what, Day 13? Wow. I seem to be back to a better pace after the confusion following the stomach bug. I wasn't sure if ghee was problematic, or the fermented fish, so I took a break from those two and added avocado several days ago. That's been fine--and a welcome addition. As the stews have been. So today I had a tiny piece of my gravlax. There's always the urge to have more, because it tastes (as Cap'n Gary would say) like "s'more"! But I reminded myself I can have that tomorrow if I am patient today.

I am not by nature a patient person. Just ask my kids. So this project of Intro, the Right Way, is testing my abilities. Self-control is a good thing, at least in some areas of life, so I am working on this. Who knew a "diet" would force me to analyze my values, personality and habits? This is one powerful path we are traveling together!

I may not post tomorrow, as we are having a feast with my in-laws: Salmon and cross-cut ribs, geoduck chowder, wild-rice (for them), veggies and salad. I get to eat the chowder--but I'll be with my family, so who's complaining? I also get to share my lovely salad, some GAPS-friendly cookies for Blondina, and some of our Easter treats.

Here's to your lovely Easter celebration, or at least a gentle relaxing Sunday. See you on Monday!

We Have Everything We Need (and another recipe)

One (small!)geoduck=Abundance!

I toyed with calling this post "Abundance" because that is what I have been receiving lately. 30 pounds of geoduck (pronounced "gooey-duck") and horseclams dropped into our laps yersteday, I have been harvesting and drying foraged nettles like crazy, and a friend met me at her door the other day with a huge bundle of rhubarb from her garden.

And then there's the people. The wonderful group of women blogging about doing GAPS Intro, my old friends on Facebook, my local friends, and my amazing family. Support comes in subtle as well as overt ways--a joke, a comment on my blog, the offer to take our youngest for a day. It all helps to smooth the rough edges in my days.

And then there's living in our own corner of Eden. Today was almost painfully sunny and clear, with the insistent energy of leaves and blossoms forcing their way into the world. Gorgeous. Surrounded by mountains yet covered with snow, evergreen forests and the Strait of Juan de Fuca. Suffice it to say that people come here on vacation and we get to live here.  On a boat. With a hot tub. As the kids would say, for reals.

Still, I am one of those women who frets. I worry about the kids and their choices, my husband traveling, the economy, our health, earthquakes...  I can always find something to worry about.

Which is why, some years ago when things were tight, when we had six kids at home, one in college and the seemingly limited resources of one income, we created the mantra "we have everything we need." Because we do. We have love and creativity and even luck. We have essentially healthy, totally gifted kids. NINE of them. Who else is that lucky? We have skills and the smarts to use them. We have great siblings and parents who love us, despite our quirks.

We have everything we need. Truly. And with that, we have some responsibilities. We have to do the work to utilize what comes our way. As a matter of fact, we have to first recognize that which is coming to us. That's not always so easy, especially if I have a dour attitude.

I remember wanting a particular chair for our old boat. I was trying to accommodate our large family, but wasn't going to spend any money on this. I left the boat on an errand with the thought "today I am going to find the chair." Well, about 10 minutes later I saw a trash pile by the side of the road. Wouldn't you know, The Chair was sitting there, waiting for me. Along with a pair of vintage curtains with Moby Dick, Ahab and the crew--one of which I used to cover that chair's new cushion. The other is still with us, as the curtain for The Bosun's cabin.

I know that sounds a bit hokey, like The Secret or something. That's not what I mean though. The thing is, we pass by all sorts of opportunities every day. Making something happen is often as not a matter of just grabbing that thing/idea/situation that's flying by at light speed. That's why we have to stay focused, and also to remember to be grateful for what we have. Many is the day that I remind myself to give some things up in order to make room for the abundance that comes our way. That might mean donating clothes, helping someone out (that is, giving up time), or ceding my side of an argument (ok, that's hard, but I do try!) If I feel lacking, needy, grasping, well--I am stuck and nothing good will come from that (as The Captain is fond of reminding us).

I have spent the last two days working with our abundance. I canned stock, rhubarb and clams (both geoduck and horse). I made marshmallows, nut brittle and truffles.  I look into the hold and feel rich, secure, and appreciative of all we have. We have everything we need. I have the right tools to feed my family, to preserve what we forage, buy, receive. I have the skills to do that, and the wit to learn new ones as necessary.

I love holidays for the rituals, the joy, the fun they bring to our lives, the excuse to eat with friends and family. Passover is a thanksgiving of sorts, a time to be thank-ful for our situation, whatever it is. My ancestors took what little they had and fled tyranny. And yet, they had everything they needed--each other, divine protection and their freedom. Maybe we tell that story each year to remind ourselves to appreciate what we have, even in our more trying days.

Perhaps I need this reminder more often. We have everything we need. We just need to open our eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I was asked to share my nut brittle recipe, so here it is, with the same note as yesterday: I have been making this so long that I can't trace its origins. If it's your recipe, do let me know.

Nut Brittle

Ingredients

3/4 lb unsalted butter (unless you want salted caramel, a legitimate choice)
1 cup of honey (doesn't need to be raw--you are making caramel!)
2 cups of chopped or slivered nuts, previously soaked and crisped (as in NT's crispy nuts)

Jelly roll or other flat pan, lined with parchment and buttered
Largish saucepan
Candy thermometer

Procedure

~Measure the nuts and set aside.

~Put honey and butter in the pan, affix the thermometer, set over medium/high heat.
~Watch the caramel carefully, it goes slowly at first, but can burn easily toward the end. You may have to stir the bottom to avoid burning and sticking at that point.
~When the caramel reaches 300 degrees, take it off the heat, stir in the nuts, and pour into the prepared pan. Even it all out and set in a cool place or the refrigerator.
~When it is hard, crack it into small pieces (you can pick it up and smash it on the pan--great for those frustrating days--or whack it with a mallet a few times, or any combination you choose. Refrigerate the pieces, they will get sticky if left out.
~Save some for me!

Life Is Sweet, with a recipe

Such a full day!

With no kids around (except the last one to succumb to the tummy bug, who was tucked into her bunk and never made a peep) I took advantage of feeling soooo much better than yesterday. I am so grateful that simplifying my food, back to soup and eggs, made such a difference so quickly.

Projects! I had things to do: can the stock that had been simmering for a day and a half, make honey candy for the kids' Easter, clean the 30 pounds of geoducks that had shown up miraculously this morning. In addition to things like picking up the Blondie girlie from her friend's house, getting her to ballet, dropping her back for a "double sleepover". And hitting the health food store for the makings of horse clam chowder (Intro friendly!) for tonight's dinner. 

Somehow it all got pulled off gracefully and I never got tired until midway through dinner. The Professional had woken me at 4:30 am with her version of the tummy bug and I never got much more sleep, so it is catching up with me. I am looking forward to a lovely night, as the vertigo is improving. Not gone, but much better--like riding the Cups and Saucers instead of the Loop de Loop.

I only got a portion of the candy done, but it was the important part: the marshmallows, which have to set for a couple of days. Ever since we started the SCD, I have made honey candy for Easter. It's a GAPS compatible splurge, better than the Halloween binge I have no control over (not with two teens and a tween at home).  I won't be eating any--it's definitely not o.k. for Intro--but I may save a couple of pieces for later. I only make it once a year after all.

Blondina with the treat

The marshmallows get cut into chicks, eggs and bunnies with special marshmallow cutters. I tint coconut with turmeric and beet juice for yellow "peeps" and pink eggs. The bunnies get rolled gently in cocoa (I have locally-made raw organic cocoa this year! Thanks Denise!) and are the most adorable "chocolate" bunnies ever. This year I made them with amazing duck egg whites--they turned out so fluffy and white (thank you so much Christopher!)

In addition, I will make almond brittle (just honey, butter and soaked/toasted slivered almonds) and truffles (chocolate with cream or coconut milk, and flavors--we like chili!, rolled in nuts, coconut or cocoa). Yeah, I know cocoa is very advanced, but my family isn't doing GAPS. And all of this is a far sight better than the norm. The kids want me to try lollipops again. The one year I made them, I didn't cook the honey long enough and they stayed gooey--still yummy, but not lollipops. I have ideas to make them work this time.

In Longboat with the loot

In case you think all we do is gorge on sweets, the tradition for years has been to do a scavenger hunt where the clues take the pack of kids  --who have to work together to solve the rhyming riddles--- all over the marina, until they end up where the baskets are hidden. We always seem to have a guest or two--the more, the merrier. The baskets are candy-free, containing things like stuffed animals, stickers, little plants, and tiny toys. It gets harder with teenagers, but believe me, they still look forward to the whole ritual. When they have found the baskets, they come into the galley for the treats. 

Last Easter, Blondina and I took our homemade candy in a basket around the marina. We are the only family here with children, but there are older couples whose kids are gone and single men, none of whom have family around. You should have seen their faces! They were so surprised and thrilled that we had come visiting, bearing our tiny treats...

The Captain's parents live near us, having moved to the area last summer. We will have celebratory salmon dinner with Grandmom and Granddad, share the rest of our treats and watch Downton Abbey, a British serial that has been engrossing us all.  I will be bringing part of the offerings, including some geoduck chowder to share, that I can eat for my meal.

This is the essence of a holiday, no? Watching the kids have a blast together, sharing a meal with extended family, and sharing ourselves and our treats with others. This is pure joy, a necessity for life. The candy is optional.


Homemade Honey Marshmallows
(which I have been making so long I am not sure where I got the recipe--If you know, please tell me)

Ingredients

5 tsp (or 2 envelopes) gelatin--I use Bernard Jensen's
1/2 cup water
1.5 cups honey (lighter is better for a white candy,  each honey gives a different flavor and color)
1/3 cup water
one egg white
coconut flour (or other fine powder for coating the pan--cocoa works, so do almond flour and shredded coconut, it depends on how you want them to look when done)

Parchment or waxed paper
A 9 x 12 or similar pan (smaller= thicker marshmallows)
A candy thermometer
A mixer, stand or hand

Procedure 

~Line the pan with the paper, letting it extend up the sides. Make a fine layer of the flour.
~Put the 1/2 cup water into a small bowl and sprinkle the gelatin over it, being careful to avoid clumps
~Mix the honey and 1/3 cup water in a large-ish saucepan (the honey will foam) and heat until 240 degrees F (soft ball stage). Add gelatin mixture, stir. Let cool ten minutes.
~Toward the end of the syrup cooling time, beat the egg white just to stiff peaks (still moist, not dry)
~With the beaters on medium, add the syrup to the egg white slowly. Continue beating on high until stiff peaks. The volume will triple or quadruple--at least!
~Spread into prepared pan and set in a safe dry place for 24-48 hours.
~Cut into squares or shapes (use simple cookie cutters, if deep enough, dipped in coconut flour)
~Toss in shredded coconut, cocoa, coconut flour, etc. Your choice. If you want to tint the coconut (the flour doesn't tint well), use natural colorings or things you have around: turmeric for yellow, beet juice for pink, purple cabbage juice for blue (or blueberry juice), any juiced green for green. And so on.
~Don't forget to share these! People have never heard of homemade marshmallows--you will make their day!

Be A Scientist! Day 10 of GAPS Intro

Only ten days in and I have screwed up.

I started too many things on top of each other and lost any clarity I had. Oy. The reason I know is that karma smacked me again: Vertigo. Double oy. I haven't had it in ages, years maybe. So I am hoping this is a good thing, you know, like eczema reappearing in the process of healing it for good.

I had thought it was a reaction to one of several foods, but I didn't know which one. This is why Dr. Natasha and Baden recommend adding each new food or preparation separated by several days. But in today's wonderful post Baden suggested, almost insisted, that we all re-read GAPS Guide and Dr. Natasha's FAQ's to answer for ourselves the questions that have been popping up (and to be fair, to relieve poor Baden of having to answer each one repeatedly--it takes work folks! She is doing Intro too!)

And you know what? Dr. Natasha talks about vertigo! She says it's related to overall toxicity which reaches the brain, and to histamine produced by pathogenic microbes, which affects blood pressure. But the best news of all is that she says GAPS will change all that. So I suppose that Intro has stimulated a sort of "healing crisis", which is akin to die-off, and I should be happy for this opportunity.

I am going to do my best to remember that when the bed spins as I turn over tonight. Because of all my various symptoms, this is the one that freaks me out the most. It's positively frightening when my whole world goes topsy turvy (not to mention quite unfair, since I did nothing remotely fun to deserve these bed spins!)

So, time to back up and start anew--back to the point where I know I was feeling well and having minimal die-off, back to soup with eggs--and limited probiotic liquid. Because now I know that I really have to be a scientist, as my dad, The Shrink says, and study my reactions as if they were under a microscope.

As a slightly nit-picky person, I already keep notes about my health process (both brief narrative in a journal and temperature and weight on a graph. OK, maybe that's more than slightly...), so you would think I am already doing that. Being a Scientist. But when I got sick, I got lazy about noting what things I had added and what reactions I was having. And I wasn't looking at the patterns.

Now that there is a concern, you can bet I pored over those notes. And there it was: dropping temperature, rising weight, poor sleep. Ignored until, bam, the world was spinning. For sure, that got my attention. And that is just what my dad meant for me to avoid when he said to be a Scientist: respond, don't react. You be in charge. Don't let things just happen to you.

The Shrink is always right.