Tuesday, April 12, 2011

"If Mama Ain't Happy" or The Art of Slowing Down

I am nothing so much a tired at this point.

Finishing my second day of intro, still on Stage 1, I am feeling sort of woozy, tired, slow. My mind is pretty clear, and I have no specific physical complaints. I suppose that the first night's broken sleep is contributing, but I rather think this is a product of doing Intro itself. I am not sure if we are talking "die-off"here, or just adjusting to simpler, cleaner food and the removal of all extra substances (tea, supplements, etc).

What I really think is that this my body's way of telling me to slow down. I even believe that is why I got a migraine the first day. The voice in my head says: "Slow Down! Rest. Don't try to do everything." But isn't that what a mom is supposed to do? Meet everyone's needs? I have lived that way for a long time, being the mom of nine, including five I birthed. It has been easy to shove my needs to the back of the line. Which is probably how I developed more physical issues than a young-ish basically healthy woman should be experiencing.

Well, you have heard the phrase "if mama ain't happy, ain't NObody happy"... It's true! Over the past few years I have seen that taking better care of myself is good for all of us. And I have learned to let my sweetheart do more to take care of me, to make me happy. I don't have to be the one satisfying everyone's needs. Not now, and maybe not ever.

That is hard for me, a real "control junkie" and organizer. I am sure that others recognize this trait, the inability to let others do for us (or even for themselves!) because we think we can do it better, more efficiently, or because "it's our job." I have news for you, though, if this sounds familiar: if we don't do it, it will still get done! Really. We may have to ask, delegate, whine a bit (ok, no whining. How about sweet-talking?) People can't read our minds, even wonderful partners and perceptive kids will usually wait to be asked/told/directed to do something. But that's ok, because we created the pattern, so it may take a while to break out of it. Just ask!

Today I did very little. I ran a few errands, came home to eat, then went to a friend's house for a detox bath. She was so sweet, happy to let me languish in her tub as long as I liked. I brought a catalog for some mindless entertainment and emptied my brain of any concerns. Afterward, she fed me oxtails in broth--yes, you too can find friends who will make you food worthy of Intro! It was such a pleasure to allow myself to slow down. And to allow myself to be cared for.

This is what I wish for you today (whether you are doing Intro or not) find someone who really gets what you are doing for yourself and ask them to help, in some small way. Maybe they can watch the kids, or cook a meal, or sweep a floor for you. Take some time to just BE. Slow down and allow yourself to be happy...


Baden said...

Oh Justine...

I'm loving connecting with you again, this time through our blogs.

I so love your writing, your boat-and-forage life, what you are 'getting' about life.

My jaw dropped when I read how many children you've raised!! Except for the number of children, we seem to have a lot in common! A penchant for simple living, financially careful lives (have you read 'Your Money or Your Life?'), organization, a habit of doing everything on our own, a recent relaxing into making room for others to do things, too, including take care of us...

So loving your blog...

Happy Day 3!


Justine Raphael said...

Ah Baden,

You are so sweet! I too am loving this connection--and soon I will figure out how to get you here for a visit or for us to go there. So silly that we are so close and haven't met in person..

To be fair, I have only had seven children under my Mama roof. Two were grown when their father and I married. Yes, seven is still a lot. I struggle with how to characterize my family--is it 5? (birth kids) 7? (ones I have actively been involved with)? 9? (our whole wonderful brood--and 2 grandbabies!)

I truly appreciate your words! You have no idea how much they buoy me--and others, for sure.

Yes, Happy Day 3! And hugs to you too!


Clicky Web Analytics