Hidden Treasure

The Captain and Mr. Chippy

My sweetheart came home! He was away for most of this week, and this is the second such trip in a month. Sigh....

When The Captain travels for business I always feel a bit at loose ends. He works from home (except for the travel) and I truly love having him here. We have a rhythm to our days. If he is gone long the days lose their natural order. I don't sleep as well either. And, there's more work to do (he does so much around here that I don't really have a grasp on), which means either I have to figure it out or I have to engage the kids to do the most necessary things (filling our water tank is high on the list!) (O.K., I can do those things, but I have enough else to do...)

As it happened, the kids were not around much this week either, what with school, work, sleepovers, etc. I did get The Bosun to top up the water yesterday so I could shower, but I haven't seen a lot of anyone in the last few days. I am a Moon Child through and through, so family and home are the center of my life. That makes weeks like this one unsettling. I get lonely.

I think, though, that blogging made a big difference this time. Planning my posts and talking with The Captain about them and the feedback I have been getting has given me something meaningful on which to focus. Thank you all! You have really kept me on an even keel, just knowing that you are interested. Please keep the conversation going, and if you haven't joined in yet, leave a comment below--it means so much.

What about my thesis, you ask? Ah, yes. Funnily enough, I also believe this regular blogging is helping me clarify my ideas for my thesis as well. It takes me a lot of rumination to get to the actual writing time, but then the writing usually flows. Giving myself the job of writing about new topics is a meditation in itself. I learn so much when I have to organize my thoughts coherently!

Along those lines, if there are topics of interest to you, or articles/books, etc that you would like me to review or address, do let me know, because I want this blog to be part of a larger community, not just me talking at people.

Back to The Captain... So, normally he is the one to sweep and do the tidying around the boat. He maintains the hottub, a finicky job because we use peroxide instead of bromine. He does any mechanical sort of care needed. I am in charge of the galley, the shopping and cooking, medical care, laundry, that sort of thing. We never made formal agreements, we just sort of claimed the jobs we cared about. Every Friday, when Blondina and I are at our homeschool group, The Captain makes a special effort to ready the boat for the weekend, shaking out rugs, filling the oil lamps, and so on. We often grill steaks and have a leisurely dinner.

Not only was today The Captain's homecoming, it was also Friday. So I cleaned: scrubbed the head (bathroom), the galley, (finally) cleared the winter boots/mittens/snow pants/heater off the aft deck, and yes, I swept and shook out the rugs. I took steaks out of the freezer, anticipating a family meal.

I met the little commuter plane and brought my sweetheart home. And wouldn't you know (I did, because I know him that well), he was absolutely thrilled! The sun was dancing on the water, shining on the little cafe table and chairs that replaced the kerosene heater on the enclosed aft deck. It was quiet on the boat, but it was filled with warmth and the gorgeous sun of a long-awaited Spring afternoon.

But no kids. They all went in different ways, to work and sleepovers and hanging out. With The Captain home, though, that was just fine. I braised a steak for me (with stock, onions and tomatoes I dried last summer) and pan fried his. I made vegetables for us to share, and a salad for him. And we sat face-to-face, talking about this and that, just being together. Even Mr. Chippy wanted to reconnect, looking for his favorite "daddy-rubs" (ever noticed that men interact differently with pets than women do? The Captain can somehow get away with literally rubbing the cat's fur the wrong way. I mean, the cat loves it, and comes back for more! If I did that, he would bite me.)

That's it. Quiet married life (tonight, at least!) We support each other, miss each other when we are separated, share our load in unspoken but equitable ways. This makes everything else in life do-able. Remember, we have everything we need...  And if your life doesn't look at all like mine, I am certain that there are equal blessings, though you may have to find and celebrate them. Even in my troubled first marriage, there was hidden treasure. I had my precious children (whom I would not have had otherwise), supportive friends, relative health, sanity, my senses, and so on.

You could say I am blessed. I am not religious, but that seems to be the right word. It means I have received a precious gift, that I am content, that I am fortunate and joyous. And indeed,  all of that is true. I wish the same for you! Happy Friday!

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What gifts are you celebrating?  Have you found the treasure in your challenges?

The Process: Elaine Gottschall, Onions and Zebras

I have had many health issues over the years, some major but most pretty minor. Or so I thought. As I have worked through these symptoms one by one, though diet, herbs, chiropractic, and other approaches, I have learned that most of my issues, even the minor ones, are related. And therefore, they are not as insignificant as I had imagined (or had been told, by doctors, among others).

What's a concerning "minor" symptom? Really, they are legion, but let's start with heartburn (a sign of gut dysbiosis, food sensitivities and lack of--yes, you read that correctly--stomach acid). How about foot pain? Plantar fascitis is treated as a management problem, with the recommendation to change your footwear. But it can be a sign of metabolic disorders, like thyroid issues. Tinnitis? That super-annoying ringing in the ears can be a sign of allergies, which in turn are a product of both gut dysbiosis and adrenal insufficiency (and that pesky thyroid again).

I could go on, but I think the point is clear: minor problems are often (usually?) signs of something going wrong on a deeper level. I wish I had known that when each one of my kids developed eczema as a baby. Even my naturopath didn't seem all that concerned, suggesting things like borage oil, but no overall changes in our diets or other approaches (in retrospect, I don't think he had any idea what to do. He was a vegetarian, skinny with a bloated gut. That should have been a tip off--except those were my veggie days...) We were using Bandaids to fix trickles that were later to become hemorrhages...

Over the years, I have had to become educated about each issue we faced. Because no one practitioner seemed to have all the answers, and because some of the answers we were given were not only wrong, they were damaging. I learned about lung function when 3 kids developed asthma. I studied the blood when one developed ITP (a condition where the body destroys its own platelets). And I delved into digestive disorders when one developed ulcerative colitis.

A mom will do anything for her kids, right? So I stayed up at night researching--night after night. I tried different things (sometimes all at once, which I don't recommend--very complicating). And I eventually found a path that resonated: The SCD (Specific Carbohydrate Diet). At about the same time, I discovered Nourishing Traditions. Suddenly, and it really was like being hit by lightning, I got what was wrong: we were eating products. Processed food. Organic vegetarian junk food. And it was gonna kill us if we kept doing it for much longer.

So I dumped the junk (well, being a miser and a bit of a skeptic, I put it into our utility closet. I threw it out some years later when I found the bags full of cockroach-infested containers. Ugh.) And went whole hog into the world of grain-free grass-fed goodness. We did dabble with soaked grains and we drank our fair share of raw milk, but eventually we found our way to GAPS, where Dr. Natasha teaches the same marrying of the SCD and traditional diets, with emphasis on food quality, digestible preparations and ferments. That is what I had been trying to figure out myself! I was thrilled.

Well, now I should be writing about the Happily Ever After part, no?

Life is never that straightforward, though. The day I spoke on the phone with Elaine Gottschall I shook as she told me "your daughter is very sick. It took a long time for her to get that way and it will take some time to heal her." She was one tough cookie.  She wasn't going to waste a second allowing me to be emotional and indulgent. She wanted me to roll my sleeves up and dig in, for the duration. For my daughter. And as it turned out, for us all.

I wish I knew the date of that call. I'm going to guess it was in 2004 or 2005, not too long before she died. She shored me up when I was wavering---albeit in her gruff, no-nonsense style. When I asked her a specific question she barked, "didn't you read my book??" (yes, of course I had, but I was still confused, and scared, and...) G-d love her. She helped so many.

I started down this path to find answers for my kids. But I am the one who really benefited. I had had more years to get sick than any of my children, so I am still working it all out, but the changes have been enormous. I liken the whole process to peeling back the layers of an onion--the Health Onion. Each step gets us closer to the core, but you have to be patient. And, for sure, we will shed tears in the process.

As I have mentioned previously, to unravel these health mysteries we must be methodical and analytical, like scientists. Keeping good notes helps, taking baby steps helps, keeping the variables simple is essential. And yet, sometimes things are still murky. What to do then? Different situations call for different approaches. I read a lot, looking for clues (that's how I figured out I was hypothyroid). I talk to people about their experiences (always keeping an open mind and a grain of salt handy). I do things like Intro which give me a lot of insight, if done carefully.

And still things may be unclear. For example, in the last week my lower legs have been swelling every night, filled with fluid that goes away within a few hours after lying down. I have had this before, when pregnant and when my hypothyroidism was at its worst. But neither of those conditions apply now. So what's going on?

In midwifery school we were taught the common medical aphorism "when you hear hoof beats, don't look for zebras (look for horses)". Which means that the common explanation or diagnosis is more likely than the rare, odd, dramatic one. This is meant to keep med students from assigning the disease-of-the week to every patient they see. It's a useful guideline for us too.

I saw my chiropractor yesterday and asked her about my legs. She reads my blog (hi Dr. Jody!) and suggested that perhaps I am sitting for longer stretches of time than I had been accustomed to because I have been writing so regularly (and reading everyone else's blogs) She showed me a few stretches and recommended that I take frequent breaks to get my lymph flowing (by walking and doing the movements she showed me). I am writing this lying down, with my laptop propped on a pillow. I am also trying to create a standing workspace. Varying my movement has already improved the situation--tonight my legs feel pretty normal.

Learning what works is like that: use all of your resources, experiment with different approaches, go back and learn some more. Try it again. Each time you will dispatch another layer of that onion. And just when it seems too confusing, remember the zebras: they live in Africa, not in your backyard. What makes the most sense in your world? Look there, because there might be your answer.


What tools do you use to problem solve? How are you working on your "health onion?"

The Kids Are Allright

Yesterday's post seems to have stirred up a lot of memories, feelings, insights in my readers. I am loving the conversation that is starting to unfold in the comments every day! This is one of the things that I have been hoping to stimulate (and haven't even written about sex yet!)--who knew that GAPS Intro would do that, too?

The last part of Gina's comment made me think about a really common issue, and not just in GAPS families:

Another big change from "Grandmas way" that has happened is when Grandma cooked, you ate it. There was no requesting what to eat as kids. Nowadays, moms are always making what their kids want to eat. I'm trying to change that in our house also. My job is to put healthy food on the table, it's their job to eat it.

I couldn't agree more. 

And yet, I, too, struggle with this. Like many moms, I have had my moments of taking the easy way out, of catering to kids--just so I don't have to hear the complaints. Usually that means avoiding a certain ingredient or dishing up a slightly "edited" version of the family dish to a picky kid. As any mega-mom, or mom-of-many, will tell you, this is unsustainable for long. With 7, 8, 9 people at the table, I would go absolutely bonkers trying to keep everyone happy.

It's The Captain who shores me up in those moments, when the lips are curling and the whining starts. "More for us" he says. Cap'n Gary adds his two cents: "Mais fica" (Portuguese for "more for me"). Never mind that a mother is always worrying that her kid(s) will starve if they don't like the meal. The guys know what to do: Eat. 

Then let the kids eat or not. Don't struggle. Struggling, catering, worrying--these all create weird energy around the dinner table. And that's not conducive to a warm family meal, is it? Eventually, the consistency of family meals will set the tone, and the kids will try things. Maybe. If you can find it in you not to care to much about whether they do or not.

(Bribing creates strange energy at the table too, though it might be necessary in extreme situations, especially with non-verbal kids, or ones whose behavior is so out of control that the bribe is the lesser of evils. But it should be a temporary measure, until enough broth and probiotics have worked their magic).

I know. It feels like defeat to let the kids opt out of the meal (or parts of it). But catering to picky tastes is much worse. It creates a veritable monster, one where the kids are in charge (you've heard the one about the inmates running the asylum, right? Never a good idea!) This is one of those situations where we get to exercise our parental wisdom and stand fast. Make great food, offer it up, and let go of the ultimate result.

Which will be, from my experience: the kids will pick at the food, make every attempt to get out of the meal, and when they are teens they will arrange to eat their meals at friends' houses. You think I am kidding? This is the news from the trenches! My teens live for junk food. What's here in my kitchen, all of my grass-fed this, local that, and the organic other things? Yeah, right. My teens are in rebellion and junk food is the battle cry.

How do I deal with this? I am learning to ignore it, for the most part. No junk is allowed on the boat. Which is not to say that it's never been here, because I have found disgusting things under bunks and in hanging lockers (closets) belonging to the kids. I pitch what I find, no comments necessary. And I go on making the food I believe in. If they want to buy their own food and cook it, well, I am not going to struggle anymore.

I have been there, with a sick kid. It was no fun to hear her comments to the effect that I was "ruining her life" when I was trying to adjust our diet to help her. She was sourcing the junk anyway, so I am not sure if I was accomplishing anything except bruising our relationship. In the end, she has become a healthy young woman, fairly sensitive to what she eats. Maybe not how I would be, but a big change from where she was in her younger teen years. And she's a fabulous cook.

And that's the way it has been with all of the older kids, six of whom are now adults (19-30+). They have found their way to healthier diets that probably owe a lot to the foundation they were given at home (two have never lived with me, but they have still learned from the way we eat, and often ask questions, share discoveries, etc). They are (spread among the six) gardening, fishing, wildcrafting herbs, experimenting with new preparations, fermenting, sourcing things like raw milk and duck eggs, and more. And they are becoming the Wise Ones in their communities! They relish sharing good food with others! They are not subsisting on Dairy Queen! They are all amazing cooks, and food is important to them (one even sports a tattoo to that effect!)

Will this work with all kids? I am not sure really. If I had a kid with an autism spectrum disorder, one who was not at all cooperative with the dietary changes, I might proceed differently (see above comment about bribes). Had I started earlier with these changes I might not have had issues at all, because it would have been all the kids knew.  All I know is that struggling over food is counter-productive (read any of Ellyn Satter's work to understand what I mean, though I don't agree with her dietary recommendations).

In general, kids are looking for guidance--despite all of their loud protests to the contrary--and this is another area where we can provide it. They will look back on family meals fondly if we can take the contention out of the eating part. One thing Ellyn Satter says that I do heartily agree with is to make sure there is one thing on the table we know they like. She gives bread as an example, but why be so uninspired? The choices are endless--just pick something that you know they accept and put it out with the iffier dishes. 

And make some meals they love! Food shouldn't be torture, even if it is healing. Tonight I made a dish inspired by something Baden mentioned, a sort of ratatouille with ground beef. Mine turned out like a mild chili so I marketed it that way--and it got eaten! I just didn't mention things like eggplant and zucchini... (shh! don't tell them!) Steak is a favorite around here, so we have it at least once a week. Soup goes over better if it doesn't show up every night (they are not doing Intro. And if you are, remember, Intro is temporary).

Ultimately, as Gina said, it's our job to serve good food and theirs to eat it. Satter's twist, and my suggestion as well, is to let them decide exactly what and how much they will eat. You may not have The Captain there to bolster your courage, but trust me, the kids will be all right.

 How are meals going at your house? Any tips to share with us about inspiring kids to eat (well)?

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OK ladies, I did not know pheromones worked through blog posts, but I too have gotten my period today! It's a stealth attack, no forewarning--and that's saying something, because (as a perimenopausal woman) I haven't cycled in months! How odd. I really have no idea what to expect, but I can see that Intro is normalizing my hormones. I guess it's a good thing, though how long this will go on, I have no clue (I will be 50 in July).  Any older women want to give me the lay of the land?

Bubbe Meises

The Shrink (my dad), loves to joke. He is witty and very able with a pun. But he is downright wicked when it comes to funny commentary on the habits of our forbears, all Eastern European Jews from Russia and Hungary. The food (think kugel and kasha varnishkes, shmaltz and chopped liver), the relationships ("how's your motha?" "my son the doctor" and so on), and the geeky intellectualism (Woody Allen meets Albert Einstein) are all fair game. Sometimes, though, I can hear a bit of childhood fear of the formidable bubbe (grandmother) coming through. As in the subject of enemas. Which are a favorite target of his brand of humor.

The enema was a useful threat of his (with a twinkle in his eye of course). If we weren't cooperating, he'd ask if we would like an enema at that moment... and when you put it that way, well, who would answer in the affirmative? Really, I mean, what 14 year old would respond well to such a bizarre notion? It must be really awful if The Shrink was using it to dissuade certain behaviors (not that we'd ever had one, or had any idea of what it really meant).

As strange as it seems, given the conditioning from my dad, one of the things that I so love about Dr. Natasha is that she reminds me of my grandmothers. She embraces liver, shmaltz, and yes, enemas. No joking about that, she knows what's good about the old ways. She is a scientist in her overall approach, using her medical training to evaluate each situation and choose a direction. More often than not, though, that direction owes more to the Bubbes than to medical school and pharmaceutical companies. As a first generation immigrant from Russia, she has not thrown over all of the wonderful practices that are handed down from mother to daughter. Instead, she is teaching them to us, so that we can heal ourselves and our families.

This is the approach I am drawn to over and over, the whole reason for The New Hunter Gatherer. The wisdom of The Grandmothers is precious, but it has been imperiled by the rise of industrial agriculture, industrial medicine, industrial education. I feel that I can change that with each decision I make at home. A pot of stock can make a difference. A batch of yoghurt or pickles. An herbal tea and a steam bath instead of an over-the-counter medicine. We are not perfect about this, and have been known to eat out or take a pain reliever on occasion. But with each successful food we forage or ear infection we treat at home, we are reclaiming the independence, the wisdom, inherent in traditional knowledge.

And so it is with Dr. Natasha. She has laid out a protocol of self-treatment she calls the GAPS program, but she acknowledges that her primary expertise has been in assembling age-old approaches and helping people figure out how to apply them to their baffling situations. She teaches, as I always mean to, that we can look to the ways that women have always used to keep their families healthy, and that we can wrest control of our health and happiness from corporations, supermarkets, and even doctors.

What does that have to do with enemas?  Well, we know from Dr. Natasha that it's super important to poop daily (sorry, but this is a subject that needs addressing). This is especially crucial on GAPS Intro, where you don't want go 36 hours without a bowel movement. When doing Intro (or even beginning full GAPS), we are inciting our bodies to detoxify naturally. That is, we are helping our bodies clear any pathogenic material that might have been making us feel like, well, crap. In whatever form that is for us (or our kids, if you are helping a kid through GAPS).

When we detox, we pull this junk from its storage places in the body and it all has to go somewhere. Sometimes when we shift our diets radically, as in Intro or full GAPS (depending on where you start), the elimination part of this process slows down. This yucky stuff is now loose and needs to be sent on its way. Like NOW. So we can't wait for our bodies to just get around to it, we have to help (until the situation has shifted enough to let our bodies take over).

I should add that everyone detoxifies all the time, without any additional help. This is a normal part of being alive. We eat, utilize what we can (hopefully what we need), and then eliminate the rest. Nowadays, though, many of our bodies are not functioning optimally, so this normal process doesn't work so well. This is especially common in people who have conditions that GAPS addresses.

The nitty gritty:  Feces are comprised not only of toxins and insoluble fiber, but in large part, of dead microbes. Gut bacteria, yeasts and viruses that have lived their useful lives and now serve to bulk up the stool. But most GAPS people don't have enough of that wonderful stuff. That's why we eat/drink/supplement with probiotics. We may still be at the stage where we are taking in tiny amounts of these helpers, so they aren't quite doing their full work yet.

All of this can equal constipation. Which definitely does not do the job of eliminating the baddies we weeded out! So what to do? Dr. Natasha recommends a few things: enemas, increasing fats, and juicing, primarily. She has several suggestions on her FAQ's page, which is useful for sorting out all sorts of other issues as well. Ultimately, the diet will resolve this situation, and it is temporary, so these remedies are coping tools to help us until the time when our bodies re-learn how to eliminate healthfully.

GAPS Guide and the GAPSHelp list both have great support and suggestions--Baden even has detailed enema directions in the book. Which is a good thing, because most of us have heard bubbe meises (old wives' tales) about how awful it is to do an enema. Come to think of it, most of us have negative opinions about chopped liver too. And fermented things (someone told me once that pickles are just rotten cucumbers...)

Let me reassure you: The Shrink knows a lot. But in some areas, I defer to the Bubbes. Chopped liver is delicious. Pickles (the real fermented kind) are not only yummy, they help your gut to be happy and healthy. Sour milk is food and medicine, not garbage. And enemas are, well, a relief. They are one more tool in the quest to be healthy, and therefore sane and happy.

I honestly could have called my blog "The Wisdom of the Grandmothers" (except that name was taken) because I think that everything I need to know I have learned from studying the Old Ways. I am still surprised when people react with fear or disgust at the thought of traditional foods and practices. I suppose I shouldn't be though, because most of us don't have a bubbe to pass on this knowledge.  So we have to dig it out of books, and look to other countries that have preserved traditions long forgotten in the west. We have to treasure people, like Dr. Natasha, who so ably marry the information of Science with practicality and effectiveness of Traditional Knowledge.

It can be hard to sort the fact from the fiction when it comes to health and nutrition information. So many of these old ways that I am praising have been characterized as hopelessly old-fashioned in the push to embrace Science. Remember "Better Living Though Chemistry"? Now we are learning more and more about the complications that ensue from such a romantic image of industry. We are currently on alert for radiation poisoning,  plastics leaching into our foods, drug-resistant "super-bugs", manufactured fats (trans-fats) and so much more.

The upshot is that there's renewed interest in the Old Ways, the ways of The Grandmothers. I can only hope to channel a bit of that wisdom as I sit down each day to write for you. Maybe, just maybe, we can reclaim traditional knowledge from the label of "bubbe meise." Because we really need some Old Wives to tell us their tales right about now....

What Old Ways are you helping to revive? What skills would you like to hand down to your kids?


Dedicated to Gladys Sussman Robinson, 1904-1999 (The Shrink's mom)

A Day's Meals. With Pictures.

I survived Easter.  But....

I have a confession: I had a honey lollipop (which I made from honey. And lollipop sticks). Well I didn't eat it, I used it to stir my ginger tea. And I think it was about the same amount of honey I would have used anyway--it lasted for a few cups of tea--but I still feel guilty because it was "candy". It made me feel part of the festivities though, and kept me from thinking about truffles. Because chocolate is my downfall. I adore any dark chocolate. Even unsweetened. So I think that the honey-in-the-form-of-a-lollipop was a pretty good compromise.

For a smart brain, my mind is easily manipulated. Just sayin'. But it's good to know.

Anyway, what I wanted to share today is my day in meals. Because people ask "what do you eat for breakfast?" and "don't you get tired of soup?" and other things along those lines. I actually got told last night that my dinner (which was part of their dinner, a part they liked very much) wasn't as good as theirs. Sigh. It was wonderful, a rich geoduck chowder garnished with avocado, full of flavor and color and texture.

So this is my day, with notes. Be aware that I am on Stage 3, though I am not yet eating ghee or nut butters (this week, slowly, I will add them).

Breakfast: (preceded by lemon water) (left to right)

2 soft boiled pastured eggs
Leftover chicken stew with mushrooms
Avocado
Sauerkraut
In the mug: ginger tea with lemon and honey (I am trying to ward off the resident sore throat/respiratory yuck)

Lunch:
Pancake (mashed cauliflower and egg, fried in meat drippings)
Toppings: avocado and sauerkraut
Gravlax (fermented salmon, tastes sort of like lox, but fresher!)
More ginger tea, throughout the day

Dinner:
Chicken Soup. And what wonderful chicken soup it was! Made with a stewing hen (an older, more exercised, bird is too tough to roast, but makes the best soup-- it's full of connective tissue and yellow fat--and flavor!), I broke the whole carcass into large pieces after it cooked, not bothering to separate the bones out, so I could gnaw on them later. I added carrots, a huge leek, kale raab and lots of fresh parsley, in addition to sea salt and pepper. I had some sauerkraut after I had two bowls of soup.


I am not sure there is a typical day for me, as far as meals go. Before this round of Intro, I was accustomed to eating four fried eggs with leftover salad or other vegetables, and tea, for breakfast. Lunch was leftovers (or a LaraBar, if out and about without food). Dinner was/is a sit down family meal with some meat dish and vegetables and/or salad. Somehow potatoes and corn tortillas had crept into our meals, once or twice a week. I made an effort to have a ferment at dinner, and usually had some with my breakfast.

Now, I don't really know what meals will look like. I have a renewed commitment to incorporating ferments, reducing nuts and sweets like dates. And chocolate. And starches. Intro has reminded me how much flavor and satisfaction come from simple foods, well-prepared. I see no reason not to continue eating this way, even when more foods are incorporated. 

It all tastes so good, is improving my health, and it's pretty easy to prepare. What's not to like? I hope the photos inspire, because I think the food is as lovely to look at as it was to eat...


Do you want more food photos and recipes? And I'd love to hear about your food...




 

Rituals--Small and Large

Today was a normal Saturday--mostly. The Captain and I went to the farmer's market as usual, but not before he had hauled The Bosun up the mast of Mother Goose (our sailboat, and she came to us with that name. It's fitting, isn't it?). We have been fixing it up so Grandad can sail it by himself--and he's so excited he makes the 30 minute trip into Port Angeles almost every day to check on the progress. The Bosun replaced a light and an antenna, and then we were off to see our farmers.

The spring veggies seem a bit slow in coming this year. There are a few greens like kale raab and some hothouse lettuce, and there are leeks (all of which I bought). And potatoes, lots of potatoes (I skipped those, natch!). I sometimes joke that I can get through the market without buying anything green, because ours is a full-service market. Today the haul was beef liver and steaks, local cheeses for The Captain and Blondina (who share a fondness for what he calls "psychedelic" cheese--the stinkier the better), eggs (soy and corn free! The feed is locally grown too...) I am missing our lamb farmer who injured himself badly recently. And there was no salmon yet, only cod, so we didn't get fish (we had cod last week and fish is a hard sell with the kids). Still, we are so very lucky to have a year-round market here, and we could live very well, if a bit monotonously, on the winter offerings.

I always feel so connected going to the market. The farmers have become friends, friends who point out something special, save things for us that they know we will like, who will discuss the finer points of chickweed preparation (oh, I got some of those too, because I don't have a good foraging spot for them yet).  It is rare for me to set foot in the local supermarket, something I do for things like charcoal and trash bags. Between the market, the health food store, foraging and gleaning we are covered. We usually buy meat by the side from a farmer, which goes into a chest freezer on our top deck. As I said yesterday, we (truly) have everything we need.

The Blogess and Blondina cutting and coating marshmallows

Still, I shopped for Easter basket fillers today: pencils, stickers, Silly Putty. I had already thrifted some adorable stuffed animals and a few other geegaws. Then I spent some time organizing the treats. I broke the nut brittle, shaped the truffles and cut out the marshmallows. We may have everything we need, but the kids do enjoy such small rituals--and they get so little that's special otherwise. We don't watch TV or go to amusement parks (but we do have the best County Fair ever!) We live a pretty simple life, which is why I feel o.k indulging them a bit on occasion.

I must admit that I did lick my fingers during Operation Marshmallow. The ingredients are all on Intro, but I still felt guilty. Kind of like following the letter of the law but not the spirit of it...

Otherwise, I am doing pretty well, now that it's what, Day 13? Wow. I seem to be back to a better pace after the confusion following the stomach bug. I wasn't sure if ghee was problematic, or the fermented fish, so I took a break from those two and added avocado several days ago. That's been fine--and a welcome addition. As the stews have been. So today I had a tiny piece of my gravlax. There's always the urge to have more, because it tastes (as Cap'n Gary would say) like "s'more"! But I reminded myself I can have that tomorrow if I am patient today.

I am not by nature a patient person. Just ask my kids. So this project of Intro, the Right Way, is testing my abilities. Self-control is a good thing, at least in some areas of life, so I am working on this. Who knew a "diet" would force me to analyze my values, personality and habits? This is one powerful path we are traveling together!

I may not post tomorrow, as we are having a feast with my in-laws: Salmon and cross-cut ribs, geoduck chowder, wild-rice (for them), veggies and salad. I get to eat the chowder--but I'll be with my family, so who's complaining? I also get to share my lovely salad, some GAPS-friendly cookies for Blondina, and some of our Easter treats.

Here's to your lovely Easter celebration, or at least a gentle relaxing Sunday. See you on Monday!

We Have Everything We Need (and another recipe)

One (small!)geoduck=Abundance!

I toyed with calling this post "Abundance" because that is what I have been receiving lately. 30 pounds of geoduck (pronounced "gooey-duck") and horseclams dropped into our laps yersteday, I have been harvesting and drying foraged nettles like crazy, and a friend met me at her door the other day with a huge bundle of rhubarb from her garden.

And then there's the people. The wonderful group of women blogging about doing GAPS Intro, my old friends on Facebook, my local friends, and my amazing family. Support comes in subtle as well as overt ways--a joke, a comment on my blog, the offer to take our youngest for a day. It all helps to smooth the rough edges in my days.

And then there's living in our own corner of Eden. Today was almost painfully sunny and clear, with the insistent energy of leaves and blossoms forcing their way into the world. Gorgeous. Surrounded by mountains yet covered with snow, evergreen forests and the Strait of Juan de Fuca. Suffice it to say that people come here on vacation and we get to live here.  On a boat. With a hot tub. As the kids would say, for reals.

Still, I am one of those women who frets. I worry about the kids and their choices, my husband traveling, the economy, our health, earthquakes...  I can always find something to worry about.

Which is why, some years ago when things were tight, when we had six kids at home, one in college and the seemingly limited resources of one income, we created the mantra "we have everything we need." Because we do. We have love and creativity and even luck. We have essentially healthy, totally gifted kids. NINE of them. Who else is that lucky? We have skills and the smarts to use them. We have great siblings and parents who love us, despite our quirks.

We have everything we need. Truly. And with that, we have some responsibilities. We have to do the work to utilize what comes our way. As a matter of fact, we have to first recognize that which is coming to us. That's not always so easy, especially if I have a dour attitude.

I remember wanting a particular chair for our old boat. I was trying to accommodate our large family, but wasn't going to spend any money on this. I left the boat on an errand with the thought "today I am going to find the chair." Well, about 10 minutes later I saw a trash pile by the side of the road. Wouldn't you know, The Chair was sitting there, waiting for me. Along with a pair of vintage curtains with Moby Dick, Ahab and the crew--one of which I used to cover that chair's new cushion. The other is still with us, as the curtain for The Bosun's cabin.

I know that sounds a bit hokey, like The Secret or something. That's not what I mean though. The thing is, we pass by all sorts of opportunities every day. Making something happen is often as not a matter of just grabbing that thing/idea/situation that's flying by at light speed. That's why we have to stay focused, and also to remember to be grateful for what we have. Many is the day that I remind myself to give some things up in order to make room for the abundance that comes our way. That might mean donating clothes, helping someone out (that is, giving up time), or ceding my side of an argument (ok, that's hard, but I do try!) If I feel lacking, needy, grasping, well--I am stuck and nothing good will come from that (as The Captain is fond of reminding us).

I have spent the last two days working with our abundance. I canned stock, rhubarb and clams (both geoduck and horse). I made marshmallows, nut brittle and truffles.  I look into the hold and feel rich, secure, and appreciative of all we have. We have everything we need. I have the right tools to feed my family, to preserve what we forage, buy, receive. I have the skills to do that, and the wit to learn new ones as necessary.

I love holidays for the rituals, the joy, the fun they bring to our lives, the excuse to eat with friends and family. Passover is a thanksgiving of sorts, a time to be thank-ful for our situation, whatever it is. My ancestors took what little they had and fled tyranny. And yet, they had everything they needed--each other, divine protection and their freedom. Maybe we tell that story each year to remind ourselves to appreciate what we have, even in our more trying days.

Perhaps I need this reminder more often. We have everything we need. We just need to open our eyes.

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I was asked to share my nut brittle recipe, so here it is, with the same note as yesterday: I have been making this so long that I can't trace its origins. If it's your recipe, do let me know.

Nut Brittle

Ingredients

3/4 lb unsalted butter (unless you want salted caramel, a legitimate choice)
1 cup of honey (doesn't need to be raw--you are making caramel!)
2 cups of chopped or slivered nuts, previously soaked and crisped (as in NT's crispy nuts)

Jelly roll or other flat pan, lined with parchment and buttered
Largish saucepan
Candy thermometer

Procedure

~Measure the nuts and set aside.

~Put honey and butter in the pan, affix the thermometer, set over medium/high heat.
~Watch the caramel carefully, it goes slowly at first, but can burn easily toward the end. You may have to stir the bottom to avoid burning and sticking at that point.
~When the caramel reaches 300 degrees, take it off the heat, stir in the nuts, and pour into the prepared pan. Even it all out and set in a cool place or the refrigerator.
~When it is hard, crack it into small pieces (you can pick it up and smash it on the pan--great for those frustrating days--or whack it with a mallet a few times, or any combination you choose. Refrigerate the pieces, they will get sticky if left out.
~Save some for me!