Bumps in the Road

I skipped posting yesterday. I missed writing, but was grappling with a nasty migraine. The shakiness hasn't quite gone, but I do want to quickly share my thoughts.

I have been getting migraines since I was about 22. Over the years I have eliminated any food triggers I could identify (not foods really, but additives: MSG and sodium metabisulfite, and all sulfites to some extent). When I stopped eating wheat almost nine years ago, I became less sensitive to other things. I believe there is a multiplying effect when we are exposed to multiple irritants, at least that was the case for me. None of the foods implicated in causing migraines have ever seemed to be trigger foods for me.

Now the main causes are my hormones (and I am peri-menopausal, so that's pretty unpredictable these days!) and my jaw muscles. For the last year, I have been working with a local holistic dentist on my TMJ and other jaw muscle issues. The last two migraines I have had seem to be related to this work. Which is both awful and wonderful--something is changing, and I can almost watch it make a migraine! I can feel how different my bite feels today than it did a few weeks ago, and I am sure this is the main reason I developed that 14 hour headache.

Yes, it feels good to identify the cause of a problem. But that does not make it go away. I have seen my chiropractor this week, and that helps me to feel better, but what I have is an entrenched pattern that doesn't really go away with adjustments. I can only hope that the bite guard will eventually be successful and that my body will stop protesting the retraining!

In the meantime, I ended up doing a couple of non-GAPS (at least, definitely non-Intro and fairly advanced) things to help me through without medication. Chocolate. Chocolate seems to help my migraines (it could be the magnesium, and it could also be that theobromine has a magic to it. For the record, caffeine does not help my migraines at all.) I also have some herbs that help, so I use what works. It's better for my gut than the large amounts of ibuprofen I have taken in the past... I also use cold washcloths on my head, and I eventually got into our hot tub to relax.

I felt guilty, though, as is I were letting myself and you all down. Silly, when I am wrestling with the beast, I know, but there it is. I had to talk sternly with myself through the whole night and day of pain. Doing what works, and what will keep me from the intense nausea and vomiting I sometimes experience, seems a sane choice. Still, I mourn my "textbook" experience of Intro.

I noted today that Baden has also been dealing with some similar issues--those of choosing to do what works for onesself, even while in Intro, and of forgiving ourselves for "not doing it perfectly".  Baden and I, and perhaps a few others, are doing Intro this time as a sort of re-commitment or tune-up. We have done it before, and therefore have some idea of what our particular issues might be. So if we write that we ate______ (whatever that might be) that does not really mean it's advisable in Intro, especially the first time through.

And that is partly why I feel so bad, because I want to set an example, a path that others can follow as they struggle with their own issues. And, while I don't think that carving my own solution is bad in and of itself, I feel that it muddies the waters a bit, making it harder for others to discern what to do in a sticky situation.

As Baden also describes, I was wrestling with whether to say anything, whether to brush this little indiscretion under the rug. I do believe, though, that you would rather hear about my struggles honestly described, not prettied up for your benefit. I can only hope that it helps to hear that I am not so stoic and perfect, that I couldn't endure a 14 hour migraine without some relief!

I did finally add the nut butter to my pancakes, a small amount on two different days. I think that is fine, as I would have expected heartburn as a first warning sign, and that didn't happen.  So I am on Stage 4, and I have added olive oil--so nice to have! I made a "salad" of cooked beets with lemon and olive oil, along with Moroccan spicing, which was wonderful to eat and to share! Next up: Roast meat and juicing. I think we will have roast chicken tomorrow, so that comes first. I'll let you know how it goes...

Hopefully you are still with me, on this bumpy journey. Please do let me know if there are any topics you would like me to address! I would love to have this be a more interactive process...

Have you ever gone into an endeavor with full enthusiasm but stumbled in your execution? How did that make you feel? What did you do about it?